Mississippi Moments

Monday, December 31, 2007

Erma meets Dear Abby meets Chicken Soup meets A Course in Miracles meets....ah, let's just call it "Glass Half-FULL"
So, a few minutes ago I'm outside with Himself while he takes care of business and I'm thinking about the queer mood I'm in and have been in all day today and most of yesteday, thankful that I have the tankful of dirty dishes all washed (clean this time, I might add-been having a little trouble lately with attention to detail), thankful for the Christmas tunes coming off of the outdoor twinkle lights from my neighbors behind and to the right, thankful that I have someplace to go tonight if I want (and I do), thankful that some of today and yesterday was spent outdoors puttering and clearing, composting and splitting, cleaning and just noticing, walking and talking...hold on a minute, gotta take some cookies out of the oven. Berightback.
Okay, I'm back. So I was thinking about how much I really dislike New Year's and why I gravitate toward Celtic New Year instead. I hate phony. I hate talk and no action. I hate cacophony. I hate...maybe I will relanguage that word to "can't/won't/choose not to tolerate"..so do your own substitutions....It's all about the "resolutions" and about how people make 'em and don't keep 'em. And it brings me back to choices, vows, chains, boxes, and resolutions I have made for myself, put myself into and how that all worked so well (NOT!!)...and how through God's amazing Grace, the power of Love, the power of Trust, the power of Laughter, the power of Hope, the power of Right Relationship, the Power of Friends, the power of Sacred Space and Quiet Place, the power of Therapy, the power of Good Food Made with Love, the power of Prayer, the power of Home, the power of Dance, the power of Music heard, shared, and yet to be Created, the power of Family, the power of Spirit and all Spirit-Beings, the power of Memories, the power of Words, the power of Forgiveness, the power of Hard Work. the power of Sweat and Purposeful Exercise, the power of Good Coffee, the power of Gratitude Journals, the power of Get Out of Bed One More Day and Get On With It, and of course, the power of "It's a Snow Day!?!"...my new name is Dances with Glass Half-Full. And it's full of all those things I jsut listed and a few thousand more that I haven't.
So here's my Erma moment, written entirely for myself, because sometimes I am the only one that understands my humor.
How it truly is HALF-FULL when:
* I am outside at o'dark thirty with my miner's light on waiting to pick up dog shit from Mr. I can't find the exact spot I want" and all I'm thinking is "Thank you, Lord, for this healthy dog and all the good food that he eats." And this is BEFORE coffee.
*My friend, Turi, leaves my car looking like her ass has been substituted for a yeti's covered in white dog hair, and while I was embarrassed, I was thinking, "How annoying for her" and it means Squishy and I took a long trip together and returned home safely.
*Boxes of old bills, investments records, articles about retiring with a nest egg-all needing to be dealt with and just taking up space---I'm thinking, well, adequately shredded and mixed, this will make enough to add to the bamboo I hacked back this summer and early fall for kindling and fire starter for the entire winter.
*Being triggered with reminders of Neil and that difficult part of my life--stepping up to the plate with truth to bring an old friend into the whole picture not because I hate Neil (sort of, far from it, if I'm going to be honest) rather to be clearly, concisely honest--and to think later that it was me, and not Neil, that this person has remained friends with. And to have a great therapist and the means to access healing times with her.
*Filling the vacuum cleaner bag in two seconds flat when attempting to clean off said dog-hair and other garbage. Not wanting to go get another one and using an old-fashioned wet cloth to finish the job. And I did a thorough job.
*Walking Shilshole with Turi in the sun and wind and cold on this beautiful day, the mountains were out, lots of other people, dogs, walkers and being so into the talk et al that I lost track of where we were at the end of the walk--too short. I hope she will enjoy her new mixer to the sounds of Poets and Angels.
*Laundry by the binful...and the thought is "Thank you for a year of this wonderful washer and the surprise that went with it" and for the two drying racks that work beautifully, even for the big stuff. And what doesn't fit there fits beautifully over the doors.
*Having a warm, cozy bed--the two of us have our own--and still choosing to have a sleepover in front of the crackling fire in the woodstove with the Christmas lights on. Gonna do it tonight, too.
*Complaining to myself that I don't have anything good to read around here because I left my copy of Eat, Pray, and Love out in the car and I'm too lazy to go get it and then, *blip*, my Father emails over his latest collection of stories about my grandfather.....and I'm thinking--oops! Better be careful what else I ask for because I guess I am plugged into the Main Source this week...and so it has been....so it continues to be....
*I was checking out things last night on a Vietnam website. I had the brainpower to read Wikipedia's thing on Vietnam and then I googled something else for Vietnamese Adoptive Families. There is a couple who are waiting who have created a shop and are selling things to help defray their costs. One of the shirts for "expectant mothers" ( I LOVE THAT--that is what I am and in the little article they said that adoptive moms experience the same things as birth moms--and they are right) Anywho, the shirt on one side says "impatient" and on the other side says "i*m patient". HA-HA!! That's FUNNY! You get to choose which way to wear the shirt. I would write something on the inside and upside down, too. Hmmmm. The website also had a shirt for the dog in the house that said "animal friend" in Vietnamese. (personally, I'm glad the shirt didn't say "dinner").
Life is working itself out, inspite of what I plan or how tightly I hold onto anything or anyone. It's the Love that's real. And the dog shit, that's real, too. Esp. when I step in it. And then I have trouble finding the "Half-Full" to go with that one except that I found this product called "Poop Be Gone" and it does work. Just not on Sambas.
So, I'm leaving off on this New Year's Eve blurb with some words I found in this Prayers for Healing book--
" We look with uncertainty
Beyond the old choices for
Clear-cut answers
To a softer, more permeable aliveness
Which is every moment
At the brink of death;
For something new is being born in us
If we but let it.
We stand at a new doorway;
Awaiting that which comes...
Daring to be human creatures.
Vulnerable to the beauty of existence.
Learning to love.---Anne Hillman

Merry, Merry! And don't forget to Breathe.


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