Mississippi Moments

Sunday, May 03, 2009

"Digging is hard work I've never gotten used to. This is true for inner digging, too. Yet, from time to time we simply must do it to know what's under a feeling, a dream, an unwarranted action, a persistent mood. Under the surface is soil that must be spaded up to be able to see the truth. It's mostly unpleasant.

Acknowledging our stubborn, hidden layers is humbling. Long-held attitudes of isolation, self-pity, resentment, regret come to the surface. They are like scattered heavy stones around us. We are broken. We are clay. Rabbi Mendel of Kotzk once said,"Nothing is more whole than a broken heart."------Gunilla Norris

Holding a couple of proverbial shovels here. And one that is securely present in ordinary reality. Digging, digging. No broken heart (at least not today). Just lots of unpleasantness being unearthed. Puts me in a weird mood. Response--walk, dig, tea, sleep, more-more-more WALK, therapy talk. I don't want to carry around these bull-shit thoughts of blame, avoidance, crazy-days, inattentiveness, shame, isolation, contracted breathing...it is NOT REAL. NOT TRUTH.

We had one of the best bookgroup discussions last night. Kindred by Octavia Butler.
Brought up all sorts of threads and juicy, unsolvable tendrils about race, fear, love, relationships, use and abuse, family, sickness, healing, power.....the list goes on. I do so value our readings, sharings, and the hearts and minds that come to this endeavor. We are reading my choice next month-eat, Pray, Love.

Off to explore today. And dig. And whatever Cedar and I want to do.....


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