Mississippi Moments

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I CAN'T FRICKIN' BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING... (and part of me does and can)
Adoption Journey, Saga That It Is, Part 80 milliion--
The adoption agency that I started with here in Renton, the GOOD ONE, the reliable one, the upfront one, the "we're working with you and our adoption consultants are with you every step of the....blah, blah, more frickin' blah------
THEY HAVE LOST MY FILE!!!!!!!!!!!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And courtesy of a phone call or a return on my emails for the last 3 weeks. NO. I had to call every hour yesterday after school and was told so-and-so were in meetings and would be back with me shortly. Right at closing time--3 hours later--I got the call. And I am expected to understand. UNDERSTAND WHAT? I will be on the phone with "my" social worker today-----she hasn't returned anything in the communication dept.
I thought the program director of the domestic infant program that my social worker recommended was looking over the updated homestudy to see if I was a match for the program's expectations AND that my social worker was UPDATING THE HOMESTUDY AGAIN for domestic (it has to be done every time there is a shift in anything)---no. silly me. NOTHING HAS HAPPENED BECAUSE THEY HAVE MISPLACED IT. There is no record of my original homestudy. The update. All the other extremely important documents and personal information. I have been with this agency since the very beginning.
I am in shock. I was in denial about it last night in therapy. Or it hadn't hit yet. It hit. I hurt. all over. And have a lot of "mad" to focus, release, and use for good.....or something.
p.s The director said she would be happy to put me in touch with some other support families so I could "talk to them". Hinsight--I should have said--"Support families from WACAP of other people whose files you have misplaced. Whose calls youhaven't returned. Whose emails you have ignored. "....and she only said "Oh, it has been?" when I told her it had been a MONTH since she had said she would get back to me with the info or decision around this. 4, no actually 5 STINKING WEEKS, I have been waiting to hear good news. I am used to the GOOD IN MY LIFE NOW. I AM USED TO HEALTHY, BALANCED, FOCUSED, MOSTLY PEACEFUL, JOYFUL, PRODUCTIVE life rhythms now. It is my "new normal". There is therapy for the stuff that isn't.
p.p.s. I haven't not been making other actions on this. I did contact the agencies through an article that Turi gave me. I had a conversation in person-phone with them yesterday. It is actually one of many networks. They are located inSouthern California. And basically you pay big bucks to have them put your story, photos, and info up on three websites. And the wait for singles is two years with 11% statistic of the birth moms opting to parent their own child after birth. This is the dance you do. With WACAP, if you get into the program, the wait is 18 months to 2 years with 20-30% of birth moms choosing to parent their own children.
And we get to watch that Selfish WOMAN who just had 8 more when she had 6 at home she couldn't even manage and she doesn't have a job and energy......
I have another call I will make today to a number one of my sisters gave me.


Post a Comment

<< Home