Mississippi Moments

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

All clear.
At Cancer Care.
And through Mississippi.

On another note...I am right in the middle of getting stuck...and I hear the usual "Are you one of THE Raneys?" Why, yes, I am. And you might be...? Oh, I dated your cousin, Kevin, and I was Shannon's best friend in highschool.(One of the nurses in the blood draw section). We had a lovely chat. She is the mom of three children, two adopted, one donated embryo. She and her partner also are foster parents and have fostered infants that were adopted into the program that I am in for the agency. There is more to this story. She wanted to tell me today and my sister-in-law offered, too. I was not ready to hear it today. I will soon. I still don't believe things happen for reasons. And I was glad to have the distraction and the richness and honesty of what was shared. And I did so much lovely texting that it made the first two hours fly by. The rest was helped by Fletcher just being there. Reading his Kindle and offering to wake me up if I wanted to nap.

Apparently I set off the computer in the consulting room today. It wouldn't work for the Oncology Nurse. She said that never happens. And it messed up twice while I was in the room. Tried to explain this sort of thing happens all the time around me-technology goes into apoplexy. Just ask my alarm clock.

I have so many conflicting feelings and thoughts when I go down there to SCCA. Words that were in an article in the Seattle PI today about a police officer who has "beat" cancer. Things like "You end up belonging to a club you never wanted a membership to" (Attributed to a dead guy-guess the cause) and how you just never know what to depend on ever again...and a whole lot of other things that there just aren't English words for. And seeing all the people who aren't doing so good. And the energy of that. I do need to guard better. Nothing can hurt me but I am susceptible to the energies. Makes the valium seem like a pleasant option for oblivion. Whatever.

What now? What next?Not stinking satisfied with stuff and minutiae and pulling grass.


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