Burl Free. HURL FREE.
"Deciding what to do now isn't deciding what you will do with the rest of your life."--Lisa Earle McLeod, Forget Perfect

Our mothers probably had grand plans. Their mothers might've, too. They probably had "should" lists. They may even have had everything scripted out. And then Life happened. Some of those truisms that we see on the back of cars on the freeway actually make sense. You know that one--"Life is what happens while you are busy making your plans." and that other one where God sweeps out what you plan to sweep in or something like that. I have a new one: Burl Free. HURL FREE. (Read on)


Two months ago if you told me that I would be emptying my house out, getting married, and considering getting pregnant (NOT! -just checking to see if you were reading carefully!HJAH!)--I'd have told you I was glad you were really enjoying your alcoholic beverage and to have another to increase your illusionary pleasures. Maybe even have some Tot-chos with that....
Now, not so much. There is less than one box of "stuff" here that I won't part with and the rest--we shall see.

I have been checking out massage therapy schools. I have been checking out Bastyr programs. Life Coach Options. Short-term international teaching gigs. Special ed endorsement options. Mental Health Counselor options. Literacy Arts specialist. TEOFEL endorsement. ESL or ELL endorsement. Finishing that doctorate. Being a bum options. Being a mom options. Just checking...

Mostly, I am quiet. trying to be. while my body and energy readjust to the healing and experiences of last week. I am noticing the following things:
-I hold my neck up to compensate for imbalance. Now I do not need to do this.
-How I walk is different now. The spots where I have calluses and corns are not even touching the Earth's surface.
-How I carry things and reach for things is all different now. I still reach and carry initially the old way--but it doesn't feel "right" and so I let my body show me what does feel right.
- I experience these waves and rivers of warmth and outright heat spreading through that part of my neck, shoulders, and head up and down that have never been there for as long as I can remember in this incarnation.
-The eddy is gone. So is the rock that was there. Like in a river. Let me 'splain in another way. Mary J and I camp a LOT. We can't remember where, but there is a state park that has these beautiful old oak trees. (Schaefer, Dosewallups, Millerslyvnia?)What makes these tall, big, strong trees unique is the disease all over them, primarily near the base of the trunks--huge, swirled, gnarled burls...removing the burls will kill the trees. Eventually the burls will kill the trees....The burl that was on my neck is gone. And I am not dead. Quite the opposite, actually.
-When I am not rewinding Kevin Costner dance and love scenes in Dances with Wolves, I notice that I am even breathing differently.

I wonder if Fuzz knows he is a MW? Probably.