Mississippi Moments

Monday, November 24, 2008

"Supposed" to be working on lesson plans...instead, sending off tax documents to the adoption agency (yes, we are still awaiting the latest say--in fact, as of Friday, the social worker hadn't even begun to redo it. It expires on Wednesday of this week...) Me, I am not giving it another thought. I am thinking about the new water heater that is going in today. Custom, of course. Because this funky little house with its funky little spaces and funky little angles will only accommodate something "special". Well then, okay. Whatever will work. And I will just add it to the other wellness bills that got put on account last night. Once again, I am not fussing, not am I giving it another thought. I am doing what I can do--with joy, grounding, and presence.

Yuletide kicks up next weekend. Looking forward to that. Mostly looking forward to moving and the laughter and the black tights and the music and the not caring about other stupid, piddley details that used to shake my tail... and of course, Colleen's new CD. Something about that CD and her process and watching and honoring the birthing has been powerful for me. Not that I am living vicariously through her and it. My Loving on it from this Heart Space has expanded the Cosmic YES! and it has also affirmed for me that we (the girls in our family of origin) can undo this training/message/lesson/b-sh*t that we picked up somewhere that we aren't worthy of the Dreams, the REAL ONES. I hear this "message" in the next generation's questions and see it in their choices. Time to undo that crap just like the other stuff we have named, faced, and relanguaged in this Family o' Mine. And so WE ARE. Look at Maude--going for her realtor's dream and with her partner, making that marriage work and raising her boys-both of whom are manifestations of power, love, challenge, and great good. Sara and Julie with Tara Academy--my goodness, those women are in Phoenix with dancers at the Oireachtas looking forward to another time at THE WORLDS! From Jetta Cummins Lake City family room to this! And people lining up with their children because they want to dance with good people like us. Not to mention the other aspects of their lives which I don't have permission to comment on here. Thinking on going for my ADCRG when Sara studies for it next year and when Julie perhaps will choose to study for her TCRG. It would give me another set of tools for my box. And it would kick my dancing to the next level which would be lovely. (And it would give me impetus to fill me brain with a focus other than "teaching with the Brain in Mind" and learning Spanish. Some of it is starting to stick actually--I am studying at school with a teacher and a parent volunteer. We must start somewhere and I have...at the beginning of the yellow brick road.) Brigie---her boy, her wedding, her marriage, her creative solutions to her life, her sense of humor, her plans, her sticktoitiveness, her honesty. (She reminds me so much of our Grandma Surridge). Colleen-dreams, depth, dread, do, die, rebirth. Me--we shall see. And I already do. I would love more "story" from my sisters-in-law. I don't presume to have the relationships with them that I do with my sisters of origin or my sisters of choice---maybe that will grow with attention, intention, trust, and connection. All part of this book idea I have.

Yesterday was the first "Sparkle Day" of the year for me. Went walking on trails with my silly dog. And then did some more walking and crunching along leaf-covered paths. Napped a lot. Went and looked at stoves. (Mine is on its last leg--pretty good for a freebie from Spokane. Missing Fiona and Sadie especially at this time of year. Can't believe next Friday is "Elf Day" already. I am so happy to be present in this season of the year and what will unfold. For starters, Fletcher is wearing a claddagh...from me. Willingly. Life-good. Prospects-good. Health-great. Wealth--does it matter? We are warm, fed, dry, with more than the basics. And I sat and listened on Saturday morning when I had to be at work. It was First Penance for the secondgradecrowd and their families. I was not happy about having to be there. It is painful in some respects. I want to be able to share that with my own child/ren now not later. And to watch others have it when I have been waiting for so long is hard. And it is also my job to be there. So I was. And while I watched and prayed and listened, my Heart quieted. And my Thoughts. And my Energies. And my Breathing. And it's still pretty Quiet. And Happy.

It's more than Enough.
(We've come a long way, Baby, from 'we are never enough, won't have enough, cannot expect enough to........YES. Oh, YES, we are, we do, we can, we expect, we affirm, we breathe, we know ENOUGH. Abundant enough.)

And personally...where do I get off commenting on other people's lives.....chuckle. snort. get me a kleenex. what a bloody avoider, i yam.....oh and one more random thought, IT IS A TRAVESTY THAT TODAY'S CHILDREN DO NOT KNOW WHO POPEYE IS! (I did make the song more politically correct by singing "run to the finish" instead of "fight" because I can and I did and we have enough violence in the world.....)


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