Mississippi Moments

Monday, November 16, 2009

It's raining dogs and dogs out there.
Which means the pilot light on my new water heater is out again.
After I spent most of the day waiting for the gas company to come and tell me why it was out in the first place and was charged almost $200 just to have them push the buttons the same way I did (and others who have also done this) just a few more times until ignition. Turns out that this new heater which was installed with the "oh, yes, we have fixed the direct venting problem that your funky little house warrants" wasn't fixed at all. They just put a fancy covering over the same old vent and did nothing to the outside. I am mad. pissed actually. impatient. tired of seeming to be taken for a fool homeowner who can't do for herself. I did my research. I checked the kind of water heater that I had put in (American company, good reputation, not the best, not the worst, a solid, workable middle of the road model that would suit our needs here and had a good working reputation). I checked out the company who installed it. Now I am back on the phone with that guy. And he did not follow through on his promise earlier to day. He has not yet met the walking equivalent of "pissed tenacity" with paperwork. He will. This ain't right. I am waiting for the gas to clear so I can reset the pilot light between wind storms. No bath tonight. Oh well.

Started scrubbing walls today. And cleared out more tubs of camping junk and art supplies that I don't use and won't. Spent too much time reading news and stuff on Oprah's website. Got my haircut again. I love this no fuss do. Don't like short hair but it works for me right now. Heard from my adoption consultant with some guidelines for the next hoop. I kid you not. Getting preggers and having a kid is NOTHING compared to all this b-s. And way cheaper. And way less time. And way everything....listened to someone tell me this weekend that I am too emotionally invested in this whole thing. Right on this person is. And how can I not be? It has been like looking at an empty ultrasound photo for 5 years and waiting for the magic to happen and the heartbeat to show up...how can I not be vested completely, soul-FULLY, entirely in being a MOM??????? How can I not be?I talk a good game and it's all talk. My Heart is so wound up in this. Could any woman who wants her own child not be vested like this? How could you go to all this trouble, heartache, expense of time and energy and hoops and scrutiny and invasion of privacy and not be vested with every cell you have? I am not sorry for this. I don't intend to change this. I will deal and rebalance if I have to. For now, I stay the course. Hope it isn't like Iraq or Afghanistan...The "book" is next. It's like selling yourself to a prospective birth mom. Not like. It is.

Had a wonderful time at the ocean. Used a gift certificate from last Christmas and stayed at a really nice place in Westport that I never would have chosen for myself.
Pup friendly. Right next to the 2+ mile coast walk and next to the beach. Great views of the crashing waves and wind and clouds. Had a cozy and relaxing time as well as long walks on the beach. Got to have tea and a 3 hour chat with Will and Little Feather and 5 cats on the way back home. Ideal mini-break. Will get to the Westport Maritime museum next time. Didn't open until 12 noon and the Field was calling. Porter had a ball(literally) playing Sheltie of the Serengheti boinging up and down, over and about in the tall grasses in the lower garden and because it is all deer-fenced in, he can run without a leash. He is so not trustworthy yet on the recall. He is not trustworthy on anything really. I had fun (not but I was patient) introducing him to the vacuum today and teaching him not to attack it while I am doing the ducts and vents and corners. It took a good long while and that is part of puppy training hell. But it is really heaven because it will pay-off and I know this. It has only been 4 months. I forget that. And I am still grieving Cedar so much I can hardly see straight. I accept how things are. Radically. And I still miss his gentle, goofy, silly, reliable heart. Porter has learned how to get himself out of two portable crates by now. I watched him do this at the Field. First time round, I came out to check on him and he was laying on top of it. I had left him asleep IN IT zipped up and cozy. That didn't work for him. Then I put him back in it after we played a bit. And he got out again. He is a thinking dog. Who likes it the way he likes it. He fits this pack perfectly. He got tossed in the cabash twice today for whining and left outside with in the storm (not unsupervised) when he wouldn't come when I called. He did not like that.

I have hurt my knee. Too much walking on the beach added to Curves, treadmill time, and neighborhood puppy walks and dancing. Hasn't hurt like this in almost 5 years. Can't walk or bend it. Comfrey is my friend. So is puttering and putting the dog on the treadmill by himself after our slow walk in the slime. I've been doing some enjoying of lots of tortellini soup and have already maxed to my winter form. Probably not so good this early in the season, but it is what it is. Need to take it easy. I can still teach and teach dance well. It's keeping what's his nose moving that is the challenge. We have played lots of indoor ball fetch today. Love the double doors. This home needs indoor paint in a lot of places. It looks positively shabby. I have some home improvement projects planned for this winter. Needed a day in to notice things.
Too much talk, I know. It's how it is. And in the scheme of things, all shall be well. Because it already is. And I like popcorn and apples for dinner. I also enjoyed watching pieces of Prince Caspian off and on throughout the day. SO thankful for mute buttons and fast forward of scary battle scenes.


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