Mississippi Moments

Monday, February 01, 2010

Gonna pay tomorrow for staying up so late...but I have finally been walking through the fear and taking stock of the garden of financial growings. Been afraid to for a very long while. Since before Cedar passed. Been living as if I had enough and it turned out to be so. And now I have to look around here, look ahead a bit, and do some set up and prep for what I want to be able to do or not do....I get to choose. Unless Life and Source make another choice. Then I get to choose about that one.

This little ditty came to me as part of a recent email. You know, the kind that want you to send it to twelve other friends and back to the one who sent it to you. This one was sweet and I usurped a section and tweaked it to reflect my current mental meanderings. I wish I could cite the writer but there was none given. I cite the writer anyway. Thank you for your words.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.
I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So..to answer the question, “Do I like getting older?”
I like getting wiser...or deluding myself into thinking I am in my own way. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever,

And while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall sip coffee every single day (if I want to) and inhale as much dog hair as I need.

I found my way to the Phinney Neighborhood Well Home Gathering today. I sat in on two talks--one about solar water heating for residential and one for increasing opportunities for sweat equity in your home projects. Then I found my way to several rooms of folks who do things related to homes, gardens, and anything connected to that. It was not overwhelming. I also was heartened by the number of other women homeowners of a certain age who were there gathering info, talking to the experts, and listening. There are some things that I need and some that I want to happen here at Fair Isle. The first is going to be a consult with a creative and down-to-earth architect that I met today. Her name is Cherie. The purpose of the consult is to get some concrete plans for shifting how this cottage dictates the way we live to the the space embracing how we live--to a stronger, cleaner, more modern version--without losing the funk and junk charm of this place. And I liked her work. Simple. Functional. Real. Energetically Clear. Some of the guy presenters today were joking about Feng Shui. None of the women laughed. We looked at each other and caught eyes. One woman nodded at me. I smiled back. We get it. I also need to contact a structural engineer for an evaluation of the foundation. The front of the house truly has shifted down and left. Makes playing a fair game of sheltie ball in the living room not so fair.

Gonna pay for staying up late. Oh well. I walked my walk through the fear of not enough. Found out otherwise. Intend to accept more of the same. That's how it is. And not make so many trips to Whole Foods.


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