Mississippi Moments

Friday, August 18, 2006

Getting ready to embrace Life in a different way and preparing for the homestudy visit next week. Today is the first day that I haven't cried in over a month..t I spent most of it resting. Being at peace in a healthy body with energy and hope is Heaven.
I have half a mind to discontinue blogging here and just bring it into my journal only because I find that my perspective from Jonestown doesn't carry over to Seattle...it's not nearly so entertaining to read or to write...still, what Col said about doing this for a year means that I will have a "book" -of sorts. Not sure what to do here. Maybe she will teach me how to erase the blog about Jonestown after I hardcopy it and put it in my old fashioned photo album.
So, the rundown is that I went back to school yesterday, and it felt right and good. I'm ready to work and embrace this new multi-age adventure in 3rd/4th grade land. Simple is better. So is being organized. I have a feeling at least half of the students will be taller than me. I am going to check out a tall bar stool thing from IKEA to help...no platform shoes for me.

Thanks to Maude for showing me the cabin next door...and for all the time after answering questions and running numbers. I have some thinking to do there, but the next big piece is the homestudy visit and talking to some other folks in the job arena. I appreciate her expertise, ease, willingness to be available, and her love. I can "see" life in the future there--with kids, dogs, bucket o' bolts RV, and twinkle lights up all year round...I love being part of the WWT Club (Weird White Trash)...it works in Ballard but maybe not in the burbs. I love the extra room in the cabin next door and the built in storage, room for the RV, the forest in the backyard, the loft (OH BOY!). Maybe a new start in a new place would be just the thing. The downside-I hate driving. There would be a lot of driving. I also can't see life without teaching dance with Sara and Julie a couple of times a week. It is my LIFE's BLOOD. It nourishes me in ways I can't describe. It is one of the main reasons I moved back to Seattle after marriage #1 fell apart...the Sistahs. Moving north would alter that. But then, so will having children. More thinking to do.

There's a lot of support here for the prep and the pain. Massages also help. Working out works, too. Ordering pizza-nice, but not the best. I have discovered Mike's Hard Lime stuff....mmmmmm.
I really appreciate that Mom came and spent time here at Fair Isle and did her "mom" thing. She can "see" where things go and how to arrange things where kids fit in the home picture. I can do this very well in a learning environment, but not in my own home. I can do it for puppies and dogs, too...just not kids. I need her support and she gave it. I am thankful for our relationship and our time together.
I made progress on the homestudy paperwork and found out that my "not doing my homework" was actually the right thing to do. If I do it all now, I will have to redo it to keep all the dates in range when it comes down to it. Sometimes, I haven't been sure if I heard correctly at all the adoption meetings, but it turns out that I DID pay attention even if I wasn't paying attention. All this graduate school has paid off in that I can take really good, accurate notes while going on mind-holiday.

The Universe is bringing to me everything I have asked for, faster than the speed of light.The only thing not on the plate is a coffee date with someone to see if there is anything there, and I'm not sure it's ethical for me to even be thinking about that...so I try not to. And a new dog member for my pack---that is coming. I can feel it...


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