Mississippi Moments

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Sitting under the Rubus, trying not to have large spiders fall into my coffee...first times, there are so many of them, in this new to me life without my dogs...I cleared Fiona's spot under the rubus yesterday when I was in a bit of a yardwork frenzy. I can't bear to see that spot with things growing when it should be bare from dog bodies lying there, at ease and in bliss. Sadie's spot was always nearest to me wherever that was...she's clearly in my heart now, but sometimes I feel like she has just flopped on the floor by me when I am on the couch. At Mass this morning, I saw a piece of my past, and had the pleasure of saying hello to Mr. and Mrs. McCarthy after the Irish substitute priest told his joke about the NYC taxi driver. So why am I crying as I blog this morning--some things are just so right with my world and some will never be right again...it's my blog and it's my life so I can do as I please...and it pleases me to drink Folger's after mass on Sundays. eat a veggie turkey sandwich, think about doing my homework for next year's pedagogical pilgrimage (which is about the only thing keeping me sane right now, that and the yardwork, and sleeping in the RV parked in the backyard awaiting the next adventure..and Matt's music, all of it).
I had a ball yesterday at the "Bonespiel" at the Curling Club. First of all, the kinds of people that are part of this planet Curling is a book in and of itself. But yesterday provided fodder for several interesting chapters on human pyschology, the competitive natures of the human beast, the influence of alcohol in early afternoon hours in an upstairs-room environment that would have rivaled the heat/humidity/hazards of a Delta afternoon, the "coaching styles" of the asundry helpers to the newbie to bones crowd, and the looks on folks' faces as I was introduced as " the one chosen to be best man at Scott and Lisa's wedding" and the real shocker was actually that I was a "NONCURLER" and what was I really doing there! You'd think 5 hours would drag on by..not so...I learned to do the "PUNTO DANCE" (thanks to Jonell) and I made the lovely acquaintances of Dani and Betty at my table. It was a pleasure to play as a "borg unit" with Lisa McLean until the powers that be split us up. The more I am around Miz Lisa, the more I love her. I learned about her competitive streak yesterday and her take-charge attitude, her strength, her humor, her pleasure at making others around her feel comfortable and included. Scott chose the best...and she didn't do so badly in the deal, either. I am grateful to be a part of their family of choice. Since I avoided the alcohol aspect of this ritual, I am looking forward to how that would impact my "strategizing", but since I turn my brain off in the summer, mostly I just had fun with the bare bones of bones. Sort of like getting a tool box full of all kinds of cool tools with functions and hanging out for an afternoon pounding nails and then pulling them in a piece of old decking...a lovely way to sweat...
The Curves thing is going well for me. I like the getting in and getting out in under 40 minutes thing. I also like early mornings and having somewhere to go---time off is not so good for me. I haven't jumped into anything for my afternoon sweat sessions, but that will come. I have spent a couple of hours daily working in the yard, cleaning, yanking, pruning, edging. My bins are full and the pile growing in the backyard. I just like how my brain and heart go into neutral peace zone when I am out there and mindlessly doing "stuff". I don't even really want to grow anything else. I just don't want to kill anything else.

I had a interesting phone conversation with my social worker yesterday. I am finding this waiting until 2009-2010 thing hard to swallow for making family with kid thing to come to fruition. Vietnam is now on the plate. I need to research this one a bit more. The mother and child in the photo on my home altar are in Vietnam. The mother is from here (Seattle area) and her daughter is from V ietnam. The article was actually about an adoption agency based here in Seattle that was shut down because the children being adopted were not actually orphans. They were children being sold by their families of origin to the adoption "brokers". Alot of this and other things that I am learning through this process kick me right back to the slavery here in this country and the culture of human trafficking that exists now. I can pray, be aware , and support the SNJMs who work directly to bring justice...not crying anymore...I just have these moments...another beautiful day...


  • At 11:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    To answer your question, I keep my ipod on shuffle and try to hear the message that the "Apple gods" have programmed in for me as random selection. :)

    I am in awe of your capacity to feel, my sister, and feel so lucky to share that with you. You set an incredible example of fluidity and flexibility - the easy parts and the not so easy parts. and i love you.


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