Mississippi Moments

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

I wonder if it is against the "rules" to live your bliss through your dog?!?
So, that's what this week is.
And hanging with the sisters.
Oh, an challenging one of the dance classes with some back click stuff and watching how they seemed to grow taller with confidence as the "GOT IT".
And, sensing the energy of a constipated classroom because of testing change INSTANTLY when it was time to woodwork and build two and three masted ships for the rest of the morning. Yay, us!
And a harried principal sticking her head in and then hearing a huge sigh and going out in the hall to find out if I still have a job, finding out with these words--"Oh, I just LOVE the energy in this classroom. It is so open, freeing, and alive!" (She's 4, too and a very high N on the Myers-Briggs.) That felt good.
And showing up to dance anyway even though I feel fat. (And am but I can't seem to do anything about it right now and oh, well.) It will shift again and I'm not giving it any quality energy other than working out with gentleness, consistency and humor...oh, and 51/2 pull-ups. Yay, me! I want 10. Full chin past the bar ups. Gonna get there, too, maybe not just before Jonestown.
I called on the courage I needed to step up to the plate and right a wrong at school. I had created the wrong and had behaved badly. Didn't quite know what I did, but knew I had. I owned it. Asked forgiveness. Took steps to right it. Felt the peace that comes from non-avoidance and growing. Sometimes this learning stuff sucks at first, but then it doesn't it. And I didn't lose myself in the process.
I have this strange little practice now that works for me. When I am "chewing" on something (monkeymind)-you ALL know what I mean--and I can't breathe it out, walk it out, laugh it out, cry it out, whatevah---I yell "BONE" and I visualize holding it above my head and here comes a divebombing angel to pick it up and take it to the cosmic recycler in the sky...sometimes this "BONE!" action will happen in the double digits progressively but pretty soon, there will be a peace and the chew factor will recede or disappear for awhile. It has been like that for the past couple of days. Bone works.
A funny thing happened on the playground recently. Two first graders, as cute as can be, were in tears and obviously looking for a tattle-listener. IT was me. I had the glow in the dark vest on and stood out...I also love first graders and they know it...
"Teacher! Teacher! Teacher! He--he-he called me a name! (Serious, tear-stained in solidarity friend nods head in support and says quietly--"He did.") Oh, says I. I am so sorry that happened to you. That is a bummer. You look sad. (She shakes head. No words. She is waiting for more sympathy and then for action...I wait, keeping eye contact more or less. Then in a heavy-sighing voice she says, He called me "AN ELF!" I said "An elf?" Yes. And the tears start again. Oh, I got all golden inside and I said....He's right. And I am so lucky to know you. (Big eyes. Tears stop. Curiosity kicks in.) 'Why?" I said. You don't know any elves do you? (BOth shake heads non). I said, well, I have a sign in my garden that says "Elves Welcome." They are friends to the fairies. They are curious. They love to be outside. They are very good friends and they take good care of animals. They like to sing and play. They like to grow things. They like to make things. They love Mother Earth and kind people...then I was quiet. Elf One and Elf Two look at one another. No tears. Then BIG smiles. Then at me. "Really?" I said, REALLY. Elf Two takes Elf One's hands and says, "Let's go make something"...No, I wanna sing. Let's sing. Okay?"

My new motto: "Let's make something...no, I wanna sing. Okay?"
I am looking forward to Book Group on Friday. I am looking forward to working some more in my garden. Squishy "helped" with the raised bed and I took him for his first car ride without the crate tonight. It was just backing up and bak in the driveway but he did fine...with the right treats. I just love Magical Strings' Beneath the Moon...


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