Mississippi Moments

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Finally finished the end of the year reading and writing assessments. I don't know why I dread those. They take a few hours and they're not fun, but they are not hard to do, just tedious.
Magical Strings just clicked on in the background.
For those of my special readers who don't get me or my writing sometimes, here are a couple of things to consider if you care to:
1. I'm a 4. This means we live in our heads and our hearts...alot. It gets all mixed up and it's all about us anyway.
2. I fancy myself a' Writer" ...so that means I will not even be aware of the stream of consciousness (or diarrhea of the thoughts-but then, hey, what's a blog for anyway?!) or I will be aware of it and that's the way I like it.:)
3. Right now--I'm fine, mostly. I dread this time of June because this is when I have experienced my most painful losses or uprootings. These are hard to not dread or expect or relive. The best is that I am learning not to dread, expect or relive...and it's working. I get irritated when life doesn't go the way I have planned and sometimes delighted when it doesn't. I hate my job right now a lot. I don't have the balls to quit. I'm not sure what to do about this so I am not going to do anything about it and that's just going to have to be okay because I don't want to be poor. I want to be happy in my work and excited. That's what Mississippi is for. I called down there last night. The first day of the summer program was off to a bang. The kids could find Ole Man River on a big map and the state of Ohio. Sister was very excited. I have almost completely cleared my classroom...two more carloads should do it. I won't need to go there over the summer unless I want to. I will sort the stuff and toss most of it this summer. I am enjoying that prospect. I seem to be doing the same with what's in my heart.
Something was very "wrong" at the gathering on SUnday---I can't peg it. Energetically, synthesis-wise-I can't put words to it. It just war'n't right. OH well. Nothing to do about it. It makes me sad when I interact with some of my family of origin members and we are strangers. No meaningful interaction and it's not for lack of trying on my part. That's when I am uber grateful for my sistahs and for my family of choice.
And you know what else pisses me off---technology changes so damn fast that as soon as I learn anything on any machine, it ups and changes. I don't know how I am going to manage it. The costs, the brain cells required. I just don't know and I have this I-pod that I want to bring because it's about the size of my keys and I don't even know how to turn the damn thing on and I just want to have some GOOD music and a couple of books on tape/cd/whatever you call it to listen to....HELP!

2 Comments:

  • At 7:35 AM, Blogger The Freewaydiva said…

    I can sort you out on the iPod. :) No charge. Well...some wine, maybe.

     
  • At 9:34 AM, Anonymous coli said…

    damn girl. i tole you we would do that this week. yesterday sucked for me. head in a pretzel but i can do it. i know you are busy tonight but let me know if you want me to.

     

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