Mississippi Moments

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

"Grandfather, Great Spirit...You have set the powers of the four quarters of the earth to cross each other. You have made me cross the good road, and the road of difficulties, and where they cross, the place is holy. Day in, day out, forevermore, you are the life of things."--Black Elk

The following principles of healing are called the "Four-Fold Way"--
1. Show up. Choose to be present.
2.Pay attention to what has heart or meaning.
3. Tell the truth without blame or judgment.
4. Be open to outcome, not attached to outcome.

Sounds an awful lot like Don Miguel Ruiz and the Four Agreements. Either way. I'm gonna try these. Been working with #1, #2, and #3 quite a bit already. Looks like #4 will be needing some attention, intention, trust, and do. Ok, then.

I don't know about you, but I get so bummed sometimes about things that I think are coming down the pike to hurt me. They are not actually here yet. They might not be here-ever. But I still think this way and I still start the contraction dance, the harden-up and squeeze it tight dance, the pull away before they do dance, the get so busy you can't find time to pee dance, the complaining dance, the lose your breath dance, the forget to pray dance, the bad food dance, and the forget to listen dance. And this is what's happening now around the updated homestudy. It's coming down the pike. I am afraid that this is the real end of the adoption process. Could be. And I've made a brave face of "I'll be okay with whatever happens" and on one level, this is true. Deeply true. But on the top-no way. I am afraid. I have started the contraction, tightening, trembling fists and jaw steps....my body can't take it. I don't want to take it. And so this 4-fold way called to me earlier this weekend. As I was resting. As I did last night. A bit strange when you go to bed when it is light and get up when it is dark. But that's the way of things here.

Soooo, here we go. Being open and not attached. Simultaneously. Believing in the Abundance. Accepting it. Seeing it. Up to your earlobes and nosehairs in it. and then not. Or is that I just forgot to inhale, exhale and open my nose. Well, I can't at the moment because I got another round of some crud from secondgradeland. Third round of antibiotics in 6 months. Before that, maybe three rounds in 6 years. Someone said to me yesterday "immuno-compromised". I don't know what that means. I would like to get to "right as rain" in the new wineskin so I don't have to keep running out to a doctor's office. Don't get me wrong. I would just rather have been digging compost and smelling the salt mist coming off the jetty at Shilshole.
I am having the abundant, rather glorious, nourishing experience of contacting two of my Village every week to connect with face a face. The joy of this continues. Makes a difference. In the Now.


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