Mississippi Moments

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Still on about the perspective thing....with Christmas music, ot course.
I woke this morning much later than usual-about two hours later because I have this horrible head cold/aches/dizzy thing going. I am actually wondering if I am havin ga sinus infection. Only had two before this but it feels about the same. Will get it checked out on Friday when I go for more scans and the ultrasound. With a whole hospital full of doctors,etc., there must be someone who can help me out. I am not shy about asking for what I need now. You learn to be your own best advocate. But this is not what I wanted to write about. It's just quite late and it is light out now. I woke this morning to the news.I did not know that cattle are fed chicken shit. Yes. They are. At least in this country. An "environmental minute". I would have preferred cello and harp but that part of my CD alarm clock broke. Too much Christmas music, I guess. I liked the one Mom and Dad gave me where I could wake up to frogs, or the sound of the rain, or a little brook, or children laughing or something like that. I really prefer when the chimes outside my window or the call of a bird do it or better yet the way my father wakes--with a prayer and his internal, eternal alarm clock. In further listening, I also learned that the average American woman wears a size 14, more than one in two marriages end in divorce, 75% of mothers with children work outside the home, one-third of Americans don't save anything, and women still only make 76 cents to every dollar a man makes....none of this was a surprise to me. None of this truly impacted my perspective.
And as I learned last year so traumatically, People see what they expect to see.
At my French class, I expect to see (and hear) all about a broader and greater world of women getting on with their succulent lives...in French. At dance, I expect to see my sisters and niece and nephew and work and challenge and movement and confidence happening in tandem. At school, I don't expect anything anymore and being the Taurus I am, I still see the best in the children and usually get that back. I enjoy when I get the chance to laugh there. At home, I expect to see small piles of paper, doghair, life in very stages of undress, clean laundry--and a wee tilt with a tea tray ready. At prayer and walk and workout, I expect to see inside. And then tehre is what we don't expect to see or experience and have happen to us. It does a body and a spirit good to have pleasant ones. It also (longterm) does a body and a spirit good to experience some of the unpleasant ones. I will never admit this in public. While it brings you to your knees, it also brings other parts of you to your knees, too. I am somewhat nervous about what the team will find on Friday. No denying that. And I am living this sweet life.
I was watching Porter run under the laceleaf maple yesterday. It is almost in full first layer burgundy bloom. I had to reach under and get the soccer ball out because I am too lazy to train my dog to get it himself. It was like reaching under the petticoats of a 18th c. gown. And there were the lady's legs with no knickers or anything. And under that laceleaf petticoats are buried three of my best friends. And here comes the latest barreling out of there with a bamboo stick in his mouth, puppy prancing paws, a bounce that would give Cedar a run for his money, shiny coat dappled with raindrops, and a grin to beat all get-out.....and I thought about how I had the pleasure of playing with all my fur-darlings in and out of those petticoats. I have crawled under there to cry, to hide, to draw, to read, to watch the world pass by from a secret place--all in perspective. I still might get under there later this week. Works like an umbrella, too.

On another note, I have found my backbone at work. Not in a nasty sense. I have just learned to hold my boundaries on some things. I have stated my needs and wants. Whether they are respected doesn't matter. I did what was best for me. I also had a kindergarten parent have a conversation with me after church on Sunday--she was saying they can't wait for two years for second grade. I did not say anything. She then went on to say that she has a sister who has been teaching forever who has a friend who has been on the accrediation board something or other for 15+ years. And this mom then went on to say what the accreditation team lady had to say about me--that in all the years she has been doing the accreditation thing and in all the schools she has been to, she has never seen another teacher the likes of me--"beyond outstanding", "amazing", "wished they could package and teach it"---once again..say it with me....perspective. I am also appreciating the Universe's gift of affirmation. And the seeds of glory which have rooted. I can package this in some way and share it. Will use the time to garden and think on this this summer. Have some other plans in the works for a change. More soon on this. Life happens under the petticoat, outside of it, and without one! (The other thing I was thinking on was that I have indoor plumbing and the Medicis didn't...HAH!!!)


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