Mississippi Moments

Friday, December 01, 2006

And behind door number three...........YOURSELF!!!
Before I get into this deeply, I want to preface this with I love my sisters, too.
Whole bunches.
Now, on with the blog.
It felt great this morning working out at Curves--been a few days with the snow and ice. I like the workout videos at home or walking, but there is something about being with the women there, in the early morning, in the light and with the music-bad as it is--just starts my day off. Then to the Ballard Market to get my first box of satsumas for the season-YUM!
A few other thoughts that are not meant to be taken by anyone in anyway with anything other than that these are my thoughts:
Therapy is a lot of things.
It is a place to be heard.
It is a safe place to explore thoughts and feelings that are killing you and scaring you.
It is a place to learn about yourself, who you are, what you want, how you plan to get it..or not.
It is a place to heal.
It is a place to meet your inner child (no this is not new age bullshit) and learn to parent her or him.
Therapy will not fix anything. it will not fix you. Therapists do not tell you to "buck up"--and if they do, fire their asses and go find another one.
Therapy does not mean there is something wrong with you, that you are damaged or not enough in some way. It means that you are on the path to believing that you are enough, you have enough, and that's damn good enough to the person to whom it matters most-YOU!
Therapy is a difficult thing to choose when eons of family cell memory have taught you and those around you that you keep all the laundry, including the soiled stuff, in the closet...or basement. That works for some people.
Me, no,...and I am only the shining example of me. I don't aspire to be anyone else-although for years I have tried and I have two failed marriages to lift up to that one--and one of those was even after extensive THERAPY. Go figure....(I'm still smiling because I wouldn't trade the therapy, my tools, my Life for anything). I credit therapy for giving me the hope and the trust to want to live. The thing is--I brought those things into therapy with me and all it took was double diggin in the interior garden to find that I had them inside me after all. I credit my parents for giving me the faith tools to know that God doesn't make junk and that I wasn't a fucked up mess from the start. I was just off path, didn't know I had one and no amount of degrees, certifications, being the "perfect" whatever would fill the HOLE in me...and for years, it was what hole?
Therapy is a place to get tools for this Life Now. It is a place to look at all the tools and habits that you have used in the past and see if they are still working for you--or if they never did.
Therapy comes in a lot of forms and situations. It can mean a very expensive investment in yourself for time and skills of a therapist or counselor with whom who click. It can be good books, music, walks with a good friend, kick-ass workouts, prayer, prayer with a friend or friends. It can be your relationship with yoru Creative Source. It can be exercise. It can be massage. Long rides in the country on winding roads can be therapy. Dancing with your sisters and friends can be therapy. Snow is therapy.
It can be tears and rage and defiance. It can be journaling or loving on an beloved companion animal.
It takes courage to go to a therapist--repeatedly.
It takes courage to know that going to a therapist isn't right for you.
It takes courage and power to know what you want in your own life and to tell others, albeit gently, to fuck-off. And I smile as I write this and Hold my all my Beloveds in tenderness and healing today.
So I will finish this diatribe(ooh that's a good word that I will torture some fourth graders with today-yesterday was "untenable" and the day before that-"vicarously"...they love it and one of them runs to the collegiate dictionary to look it up because they can't stand it when I throw that stuff at them and I am talking about them!:)
As Popeye says "I Yam what I Yam" and I found this last night online somewhere and I like it"
Learn to love yourself.
Learn to love and embrace solitude.
Learn to reclaim your passions.
Forgive your mate(this does not mean acceptance, just that you are not allowing the bitterness or anger to poison you anymore, but you are intent to move from hate to indifference an closure on what the relationship could have been)
Connect to your Higher Being.
Heal yourself.
Languish in the lessons you've learned....

And when someone asks if you have called a therapist, all that this really means is that you are loved and they see you in pain and they don't want you to hurt anymore...because they love you...
...Ok...now how can I use"diatribe" in the spelling test today ...hmmmm....?


Post a Comment

<< Home