Mississippi Moments

Thursday, November 22, 2007


When the wind blows,
that is my medicine
When it rains,
that is my medicine
When it hails,
that is my medicine
When it becomes clear after a strom,
that is my medicine.---Anonymous

"This longing to return home,
for union, to be once more whole,
this longing for that which is unseen,
yet known in my soul,
this longing for that which is silent,
yet heard in my heart,
this longing is my teacher, is my Friend,
we are never apart.-----------Mara Berendt Friedman, 2001

"Weird things are happening," says she.
I can't seem to remember my steps, not even in muscle memory but I can tie a shoe, lead a balling yarn handwork lesson, or soothe a hurt feeling with grace and perfect ease. When I am in a fit of lonely-my-dreams-will-never-seem-to-get-here-but-keep-on-keeping-on-with-a-
positive-attitude-and-joy, then I come face to face with what my Dream will look like in a few years' time-a red haired Catholic school teacher with her little Kindergartener daughter(clear that sweet girl-child with shiny black hair is from a land far away), in full school jumper uniform, outside of the Ballard market from their own holiday meal shopping, teaching her child about the "and" symbol between the T and the C. It caught me truly off guard. And then there's the walking every morning in the dark even when I am afraid. Just doing it. With music and coffee and gratitude that I have this strong will and healthy legs and awarm home and the companionship of this silly boy-dog. I just love him. And then I am thankful for corner kicks. I can curve this old Husky basketball that Cedar loves to play with so much around anything in the backyard-the rv, the chopping stump, the bamboo pile that needs to be trimmeout in recycling, the elderberry standing watch and holding sacred space around our bedroom window, the memorial for Fiona and Sadie, even the wee dog himself! I love that my dad and my Uncle Vic took the time to teach me something valuable like that and then gave me opportunities to master it. I have happy powerful memories of curving a soccer ball at who knows how many blasting miles per hour right up the sidelines to the exact spot I knew it was supposed to go in SU women's soccer games, knowing that it would get where it was going and NOT go outside the lines. You just never know when these hidden and special skills will come in handy.
I am very aware today of all those whom I Love and have Loved...still do. I hold you very close to Me today.. especially today. I am aware that I don't do as good a job as I could of telling you, showing you. I hope you all Know. And those that I don't Love. The Truth is, I do, and you , too, are the apple of God's eye. I am learning still to regard you that way in speech, thought, and action.
This is a powerful day, a Life-giving day, a Sparkle Day.
I haven't had a peaceful heart for awhile. I'm grieving some things--unfinished things said and done. Learning how to release, let go, and reground in the freedom and space that is left.
So Squishy is sitting on his spot at the window, growling and alarming at something in sotto voce. Looks like ice. Sometimes he just sits and talks to himself like that.
We are working on the manners things. He jumps on people that I greet. I don't remember having that problem with the girl-dogs. Someone stopped me yesterday walking at SHilshole I get that alot-"Are you a Raney?". Why, yes, I am.It was Joan Magnano and her husband. And then Cedar jumped on her. I was surprised. We will work on that. He has made so much progress in other ways. Just like at school. We are working on not jumping on people either, unless they want you to, since we got the wedgie thing squared away until it makes another appearance...like lice. Thank heavens, that is next door right now and not in first grade land yet. We just have had bad case of Hawaii-itis. I have had about 12 students this week. Over the ocean and through the palm trees to resort we go....I prefer, over the river and through the woods to 1806 we go....

1 Comments:

  • At 11:47 PM, Anonymous col said…

    re: the second poem - we have a sing along this year for yuletide that i think you will love.

    see you in the afternoon.

    :)

     

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