Mississippi Moments

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

I'm learning that it isn't All about me.
And that was is about out me is mine. Blessings on what is.
I am holding those I love in Warmth and well, Holding.
I listened to a great NPR show this weekend-Tavis someone... it was about the rituals of St. Valentine's Day. Here's what I came away with: These "ritual days" like St. Valentine's Day are opportunities for anyone to step out of the box and to honor and communicate Relationship! where and when that moves us. Yes, it is an opportunity for the card companies and the makers of chocolate and other sundries to remind us of our "duties" and what-ifs if the day is neglected or not conformed to. It is also another opportunity for us to resist the commercialization of Relationship! I never looked at it that way. I was starting to tune in (but not really believe) the "woe-is-me-I'm-not-partnered"-monkey mind mantra. So for the past couple of days, and mostly today, I have sat that mantra down and all the other monkey mind thoughts in a circle and told (and retold a few times) them to sit there. I have the intention of cultivating and growing this practice. The seeds of meditation .
Cedar is busy chewing on all the things I left for him to chew on during the day.
It is almost one year with this Precious Boy-Dog. No regrets, none, not a one in this dept. Listening to your Self. It's agood thing.

I am in the process of figuring out what it is that I Do want since it seems to becoming evident in therapy and in my dreams that I was holding on to an old Dream that will never come to pass. And since that's the case, something else needs and wants to replace it. Thinking on that one. Still want a cabin in the country with an orchard and a garden and a fence with covered RV parking.

My dream last night was the "bad dream" about being chased by someone who wants what I have and plans to steal it and do harm to me. This thing he wants is a car. In other dreams it has been something else. So, I hide from him but know he is always close behind, And this time, I was shocked to realize that I was intentionally staying close to where he would find me and the car-kind of like cat and mouse. HE found the car. I had someoneelse join me in the cat and mouse game. He was almost about to catch us both--we had made eye contact. And I smiled because up to now in the dream, I had forgotten that I could fly...and so could the car. I could make it do this and I was strong enough to fly and carry the person who was with me and anyone else that needed escaping. Shocking but not surprising. And then I woke up right before I was getting ready to take off and leave him in the dust. Wonder what my therapist will make of that one? I have a few thoughts and a few more chuckles about it.

I was able to make an earlier appointment for the surgeon consult-on Feb. 28th. I will need to reschedule something else that was on the calendar but no big. Let's get this party started.

On the adoption front, there isno official news. There is some unofficial "gossip" that any families in the referral cue that are slated for receiving referrals by Sept. 2008 are good to go. After that, the outlook isn't too good. I'm inline for late spring 2009. It has to do with the incongruence between the American gov't and the Vietnamese gov't. The MOU (Memorandum of Understanding) has some points of contention and our gov't wants the changes. If it expires in 9-08 then that's that. At least for me. I will be quitting my job. And taking my little dog and my RV on a very long road trip around North America. I will be needing a housesitter. I'll ask if the time comes.

And as I said, I am very happy for all my Village at this special time to step out of the box (in this case getting OFF of it would be good here) to say "You are LOVED. You are APPRECIATED. You JOY UP my WORLD.


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