Mississippi Moments

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Speak your truth.
Listen when others speak theirs, too.
When you let go of fear, you will learn to love others,
and you will let them love you.
Do not be afraid of dying.
But do not be afraid to live.
Ask, yourself what that means.
Open your heart to love, for that is why you're here.
And know that you are are,
and always have been, One...with all who Live.---adapted from Melody Beattie, Prayers for Healing

I am learning to live with what it feels like to be shunned. Literally. Physically. Energetically. And to discipline my mind when it latches on the pain of this and chews and chews and chews. It eats me from the inside out. No one does this to me but me (the mental thing) but the other is happening. It is not my problem. It just is something I have never been the object of and yes, I have been and currently am the practitioner of such unlovingness. Working on what my choices are around this....it is baggage that is not wanted, not life-giving, not peace-providing, not beautiful...but I might say, useful in this moment with the intentions I hold for wanting to be free of crap and behaviors that do not bring beauty, peace, life, and balance.

Today is a Mary Day. She said "yes" and I am also sure that she asked Jesus to wipe his feet before he came in, wash his hands before he ate, and taught him that burping is funny in certain company just not the 89th time in a row.

The whiners have invaded secondgradeland. And the children did a wonderful job of making spirits bright at Harborview--from the 9th floor all the way down, floor by floor, to the foyer for a kodak moment-"concert". Their favorite part was ER and the bus. Not in that order. My favorite part is that it is over. That I faced my fear of going to another hospital (esp. one like Harborview) and that I trusted my friend who did it for years--that in going it was doing good for all involved. She was right. She always is. :)
My front screen door, circa 1949 with a crystal knob, fell apart this week in the cold. The bottom fell off and now I have a hobbithole I can go out of whenever I want. It's kind of cool. It will have to remain that way until next week.
I am heading to L.A. for a Christmas party this weekend. Sounds sort of exotic. The ease of things make it seem like a ride to Yakima to be with good friends and their very pretty CHristmas tree and the chance to meet and mingle with their friends. Stepping out of my comfort zone on this one, too. Doing new to me things.
I am enjoying festive, in a teacup, holiday sangria before I head off to bed.
My next door neighbor's grandbaby was on the front page of the Seattle Times today under "O Baby. it's cold outside". Pretty cool, that, too.

Change is possible. Change is inevitable. It doesn't mean that it will be bad. I am working on this one. It is easier when I am not feeling strongly about things.


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