Mississippi Moments

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Sunday morning walks before 7 am, even better before 6. We had another luverly one this grey morning. With coffee. And mittens. I'm still cold all the time. Cedar and I were followed for almost a block by a fluffy, golden-striped cat with "princess paws"--slightly turned out, meticulously set just so as he moved, light, balanced, but powerful--
the way he was walking. He meant business, what sort, I don't know but he meant for us to know that we were being tracked and that it was his sidewalk. If you could have seen this cat's energy, every couple of seconds, it would come and give Cedar a poke or a kick in his hind end ("Furjets, I call'em), It was hilarious. SO I stopped after 3/4 of a block and turned around and we sat and waited for Sir Cat. At that point, he switched trajectories and went a curved route around some very mutilated juniper shrubs. While we did not see his face and saunter after that, we knew he was there.
I've been working all weekend on assessments and report card stuff. Makes your head spin. Had a little time to play last evening and then it was back to the grind. I don't mind this grind.

This week has been the Week of Passings. Another Beautiful Spirit passed over this week and my Brother and Family Grieve. We look to the West for Healing, the North for Our Strength, the East for Missouri-Love and Roots, and South for the Creative Energy to Flow back into our Tired Hearts and Hands. I'll bet that the Rainbow Bridge was shaking and swaying when that Beautiful Boy-Horse moved across with Purpose, Wisdom, Power, and Presence. Our Teachers NEVER leave us.......

Today is the Tara Academy Recital. Having been out of the teaching part of this for weeks at a whack, I "feel" out of it. It will be fine. I have my "job" there to do as as well and I love that grind, too. And I am glad that dancing is not over for the summer. It is already, in my mind, one of those things that is going to help with the Healing. I can't dance and move like that quite yet, but I can feel it will happen in a matter of weeks, not months. And I am SO THANKFUL for that. I wake up these nights in different panics---last night was that I forgot to feed Cedar dinner. Usually it is that I have forgotten or "lost" some children that were given into my care. Yikes. That's the worst. Other times, it's that I don't know the language around me--and then I remember to speak from my Heart and it's going to be okay. Another one was that I was trapped again in a dark place. The Difference now is that I am waking up and after a couple of breaths and quiet, I can collect my panic and know that All is Well. That I haven't Lost anyone, forgotten to care and love for my dog, that I am not trapped or unsafe or alone, that I DO have a Voice and a Heart Language no matter where I am or with whom. I also had another Dream about my ex-. This time, he acted as if everything was hunky-dory and he invaded my space on the bench without asking or anything--like firstgraders when they forget about personal body space "bubbles"..the bottom line is that I created space immediately with my own Power and told him that he couldn't just expect to sidle up into my body/heart/mind space like that. He wasn't welcomed to that. Then he followed me around for awhile while I was trying to set up a new home for Cedar and me. We were successful and when N-saw that he wasn't a part of that, he got back into his car (with his new partner and 4 young children that were his--) and started t drive away. I reminded him that he owed me tax money from before and he acknowledged it with a big smile as he drove off and then he asked what he could give me instead since he didn't have the money----I yelled back-"Two of your kids to Love"...adn he was going to ...and then I woke up....need to give that one some thought. Or not. And I need to get it through my THICK HEART that he owes me nothing, that forgiveness is what has given us Freedom from this energetic tangle and that we are on separate paths.
This whole cancer-thing has opened me up to worlds you can't imagine. It's all here to stay....the new worlds, not the cancer.
Enjoy this day, Beloveds. I have Social Studies to assess and a silly dog to feed.


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