Mississippi Moments

Sunday, October 15, 2006

How come no one ever comments on my blog anymore?
Is it that boring? too heavy? no news of note? no points of interest or connection?
I'm just curious. I am going to continue this adventure, right along with my Gratitude Journal and weekly sacred circle times, dancing, laughing, learning, working, laundromatting, worrying about my little sistahs, etc.
I hung twinkle lights in the kitchen-nice, soft illumination. I'll get out the orange and gold leaf cover-things to put over and we're set for the holidays-which, as far as I am concerned, are from now until Imbolc-Feb. 2nd, St. Brigid's Day.
I made split pea soup tonight-goes great with a magarita. I watched a silly movie- "RV" with Robin Williams..just that, plain silly. Nap, church, avoiding paying bills,
I was asked today if I want to go to Vietnam to teach English this summer to Vietnamese sisters who run the orphanages there. I am thinking on it. It would mean Jonestown wouldn't happen next summer...and some BIG part of me wants to be pre-empted by other important happenings...I love tripping on the baby carrier in the living room.
I am very aware of the debts I owe. It is a hard thing to come to terms with out of balance behaviors and reckon with them. It is easy and almost imperceptible how behaviors that were once chosen to fill 'holes" on the inside can be transferred to other behaviors--the whole purpose being to try and fill the inner "holes' with external distractions, feelings, things, experiences. It doesn't work that way. The inner holes are still there when the quiet comes. So are the discomfort, dis-ease, and shame of not owning up . There is still a Part of me that believes somewhere deep that I am not ENOUGH. Some of my spending habits reflect that this still has power...I've come this far...no time to turn back, no reason to. Time to reckon.
Ok. I am also wondering if my sisters of origin think I am a quack...I hope not.

7 Comments:

  • At 9:32 PM, Blogger Maude said…

    I'm still here and I don't think you are a quack. I just never know what to say that can help. I think my reading your blog is much like me sitting and listening to you. You and Colleen always have such great words of wisdom - I don't. I do love you tho - M

     
  • At 8:19 AM, Blogger MihErn said…

    Hello, M-
    Thanks for your thoughts. I guess I just wanted to know if someone was listening. I don't need "help"-just want someone to smile, nod, and look at me with love when I am feeling alone or sorry for myself---loveyou!

     
  • At 8:37 AM, Blogger Colleen said…

    ducks quack. not you. but I am here. following along in the book.

    love you

     
  • At 12:56 PM, Blogger Brigid said…

    it's saved to my "favorites" and I check it everyday. Love your words and thoughts......never know what to say because i'm the "smart ass one" that always makes a joke about something.....but no jokes here. This sister doesn't think you are quacky.....think so much more of you than that.

     
  • At 6:10 PM, Blogger The Freewaydiva said…

    What all of those other lovely ladies said, even if I'm not a sister of origin. I don't think you're a quack, either. A Peep, maybe, but not a quack.

    And I comment in YOUR blog about as often as YOU comment in MINE. So there. Nyah.

    ;)

     
  • At 6:41 AM, Blogger MihErn said…

    T'ANKS GANG!

     
  • At 2:55 PM, Anonymous Beau said…

    You're on my "blogs to read" list. I stumbled upon it through Colleen's. I love having the opportunity to find out what's going on with family even though we hardly know each other. Keep writing, its inspiring.

     

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