Mississippi Moments

Saturday, September 30, 2006

When I rise up
let me rise up joyful
like a bird
When I fall
let me fall without regret
like a leaf.---Wendell Berry

It's Saturday and I am enjoying my second cup of plain old-fashioned coffee in a cup that depicts wind, water, and a tree. Talk about simple pleasures. I also stink of rosemary on the outside and sweat and workout on the inside. I gave the rosemary next to the driveway a sideburn trim because I keep hitting it in the predawn darkness when I go to workout in the mornings. The neighbor's cedar-thing on the other side of our shared driveway isn't faring too well either, but they know I am perceptually challenged in my comings and goings.

It has been a full week, and I am enjoying the low, golden moon in the night of stars. Full moon next Saturday, the 7th.
Went out to Duvall last night for another Mercy Corps fundraiser family ceilidh. It was the best yet! I just enjoy the people coming out from the Wilderness School-they have an openness, an energy, a joy about them that resonate well with me. There were also a bunch of enthusiastic kids, jumping right in, dancing non-stop for over an hour! All ages of folks and it was full. I will mail off the donations today. The musicians played with heart and energy--thank you to all for a great evening! And then the beautiful drive home under that moon with Mary J.
This dear sweet Sister-Friend shared the evening with me. We enjoyed our drive out, full of sharings, wonderings, and learnings about 4-ness, living in the glorious, messy NOW, and how to be such an empath in the world without buckling under the weight of this gift/bane/way of being or accessing the "2" drive to rescue. I love being understood. This is a 4-thing, too. We feel like we never belong anywhere, not even in our own heads, hearts, and bodies...and when someone else "gets' it, it seems like a miracle. I have a wish and a prayer though around 4-ness...I want to meet and have a sincere discussion with a 4 who is in a longterm, WORKING, HEALTHY relationship/partnership/marriage. What is that like? How does that work? What do you do/think/pray/surrender/release/dance to make this happen? For me, I don't believe that this is for me in this lifetime. Dating, maybe. Partnership, no. I have the habits of being too selfish, self-absorbed, co-dependant, stubborn, dominant, and into 4-generated fantasy-reality.
Yesterday, I took the day off work to help Jean, Laura, and Mike pack the moving truck. The goddess-sends of the day were Jamie and Laura McG from Bookgroup. They totally rock! Hard workers, fun-to-be-around, knew their stuff about moving, packing, and loading. IT was a painful thing to be around, though. Jean and Laura are at an impasse and not at peace about this move. It was terribly hard on both of them and the tension was gnaw-able. Mike just went from place to place, keeping track of his Beloveds and his stuff. He had more visitors during the day than anyone. I left in the afternoon to prepare for the ceilidh but the packing was still going on. I pray that they had a safe drive over to Newport. I'll wait for word today or I will call.
Dancing went well this week. The lessons were flowing, the targets clear and the children responsive. I just enjoy being with my sisters! Julie smiled at me this week! She is such a joy and a heart for me. I admire her so much and I know so little about her. I can, without words, perceive her courage, her authenticity, her fierce spirit, her depth, her joy, her delight...and by watching, I see how and what she gives in Life-currency to the tween/teen dancers. I also love the flow of how things generally work with the "sisters" just in the dance room itself---I could be full of old dancing socks, but I observe how between the three of us, the cool-down/goal setting for the week is winding down, the parents are being attended to in the hall, and the warm-up/get ready for the next class are all in process simultaneously. That is a Celtic spiral of life and intuitive
work. Ansd then there is dear Rowan bringing it down and real for "auntie".
School was better this week-not great, but improving. Accreditation has been placed on an additional year-rotation so there is more time to prepare and work collaboratively. Perfect. Perfect! We have been given (my team-teachers and I) a release day to work together to create our report card template and other planning essentials that we didn't get to before the year started. Okay, then...I have a hope in my heart today that wasn't there before and may not be there tomorrow. Idon't care. It's here right now and it's real.
O God, who art Peace Everlasting, pour Thy Sweet Peace into our souls, so that everything discordant may utterly vanish, and all that makes for peace, be sweet for us forever. --Galasian.
Mary J. and I are off today to go watch the Red Tent Tribal Dancers, go to a quilt show, and have lunch. A lovely way to spend a Saturday. I anticipate a nap and a movie with popcorn, too!

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