Mississippi Moments

Friday, September 14, 2007

Do you know what a "turas" is? You are on one!
Good Morning, Dear Ones.
There was an especially sweet thought today in the Celtic Spirit Daily Meditations, I even learned a new word-"turas".
Allow me to share from Cailin Matthews, p. 339
"The gifts of each season create thresholds and doorways of opportunity for us as the year turns. The circuit of the earth about the sun is like the turas, or revolving walk of a pilgrim about a sacred site: at each point of the circumnabulation, there arises a differently symbology in the changing weather and in the correspondances of the growing world. As we become more attuned to the annual turas of these channges, we become more attuned..."Then she goes on to ask us to consider the gifts and opportunities that we receive from each season.

I am coming to a decision. I will likely withdraw from the doctoral program that I started at Walden. I have one more conversation to have with someone who's perspective I value very much.
I am enjoying the rigour of it. I have not yet learned the appropriate time management skills for the intensity that is required. There is no question that I have the type of criticial thinking cap and writing skills to be successful. The truth that has emerged is that it really isn't something I want right now. It won't make me a better mom. It might make me a better Erin, but probably not. It will make me a better teacher and professional colleague and I can accomplish that in other ways. Just the past two weeks have taught me that I need to do a better job of keeping abreast of the research and trends. Well, okay then.

Since Iona, it has become clear to me that I don't need additional letters after my name to "be somebody". Do you know how comforting and joy-filled that realization is? I have literally spent my whole life this time 'round running after letters and accomplishments to be noticed, to be somebody, to be affirmed that I was a worthy being, worthy of being loved and acknowledged. Things change when you discover your OWN HOWL! (That's for another blog entry she chortles to Self). Also the confidence that grows out of learning out to apply, jump through all the financial aid ropes, get the loans, understand what it means and how it fits (or not) into the budget, not to be afraid to just go for what is on "your list". SO when Viet Nam stuff stalled last spring, I just went for my "list"--it changes every three years or so but some of my Life Goals have been on there for 20 plus years. ED.D was in the top three forever. I have learned that it may go down to #20. Don't know. I may change my mind about all this by tomorrow. I am more interested in focusing on what the 6 year old crowd needs. If it is learning I want, then my Heart shouts "Wilderness Awareness School" in Duvall. It's not even Waldorf.That's a worthy path or turas and maybe I'll return to it someday. Don't know. And it's okay. I learned enough to get me started and rooted and some things are growing and enriching my work as a teacher, artist, and as a person. All this talk of starting, stopping, trying things out...my "Committee" certainly tries to have something to say.And I'm not flighty. Me?! EMR snorts to Self?!? You have got to be kidding! I tell the Committee Talking Heads in my head when they give me crap. It's just different now. What I want and need is clear. And simple. And part of the "turas".

If I keep it, I want to learn how to restore Peregrin, my old Rv. I am really interested in a simple travel trailer that I can pull with the Subaru. That will fit in the garage. That will keep us dry and warm. That will be easy to get in and out. That will be big enough. That will allow other people and kids to safely and legally go with us to these great camping adventures. On the burner for considersation. My needs around the RV have changed. Mary has her own rig now. Fiona and Sadie are not old and don't need the padding and comfort of such. I don't need the bigness or all the systems--since I haven't used any of them in over three years. It's not likely I will. We shall see. I learned this morning where to store some more essential items that I use around here. COli will be proud of me because I figured out where to hang a drying rack upstairs AND where to hang my ironing board for easy access and use. Whoo-hah. I also managed to organize all the doctoral materials that I won't be needing. Funny huh. But oh well.
It just might be that the first time in my life I can say and mean that I don't need to be striving for something from the outside to make the inside. It's kind of the other way around. I'm also not going to go back to French class on a regular basis. I am enjoying the respite and the chance to write more.
I am enjoying so many things right now. Abide in Love, Dear Ones. It really is the only way to go...on your turas.

2 Comments:

  • At 8:27 AM, Blogger The Freewaydiva said…

    :)

    I find it interesting that we're working on a similar piece, from totally different approaches and perspectives, but reaching similar conclusions.

    Peace. *hug*

     
  • At 4:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That is interesting! And worthy of more discussion-more from you and let me listen and learn:).

     

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