Mississippi Moments

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I saw this on Facebook--
"Jesus had two dads."

Saturday, April 25, 2009

He was a good dog.
He IS a good dog.

His pack (and more than a few others) were waiting.It's party-time over the Rainbow Bridge.

Safe Travels, Mikey. Darling, darling boy-dog, friend, leaner-extraordinaire, greeter, therapist-in-gold, walking buddy, family.

I am loading up to go to the ocean and the Field for the day with Cedrus. Be back tomorrow.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Our True home is in the present moment.
To live in the present moment is a miracle.
The miracle is not to walk on water.
The miracle is to walk on the green Earth in the present moment,
to appreciate the peace and beauty that are available now.
Peace is all around us--
in the world and in nature--
And within us--
in our bodies and our spirits.
Once we learn to touch this peace,
we will be healed and transformed.
It is not a matter of faith;
it is a matter of practice.---Thich Nhat Hanh

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Look at our brokenness.
We know that in all creation
Only the human family has strayed from the Sacred Way.

Sacred One,
Teach us in love, compassion, and honor
That we may heal this earth
And heal each other.------Ojibway prayer

The world continues its spin. Including my little pocket.
I was sick, in-out-all around all of last week. Came out of my gopher hole fully on Sunday. Not sick now. In or out. Was nailed by something in my chest. Probably my soul, too, but who's thinking about that now?
My friend, Jean, fell at work and fractured her hip. She is now at home. Resting, recalibrating, healing...

The pear tree is in full blossom. The crabapples are arm-wrestling to see who will be first in the front garden. There are pansies that I planted last year in a fog that are now up in back. I also pulled up three carrots that overwintered. I don't remember much about last year. My body seems to. I keep bracing for something bad to happen.

Cedar is blowing his coat. It's like living inside a blender with doghair swirling around you. I am happy about this. I have waited a very long time...and he is only a TEENAGER! Just wait 'till next year. I wondered if he would have the materials to coat every nest in Ballard (and Shoreline) and he will. Lydia informed me that he gives his fair share at daycare and the morning after, she finds it hanging in all the trees in the backyard. Birds are so smart--they don't need "Free to a good home" signs on this stuff.

Work is work. The children are learning, growing, blowing their coats (our room heats up quickly). Again, I am thankful for this. 7 weeks until they are no longer second graders.

And to finish this, with good coffee in hand...change is. hard. There sure is a damn lot of it--like sheltie hair

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Two words: Susan Boyle.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Earth, teach me stillness
as the grasses are stilled with light.
Earth, teach me suffering
as old stones suffer with memory.
Earth, teach me humility
as blossoms are humble with beginning.
Earth, teach me courage
as the tree which stands all alone.
Earth, teach me resignation
as the leaves which die in the fall.
Earth, teach me regeneration
as the seed which rises in the spring.
Earth, teach me freedom
as the eagle which soars in the sky.
Earth, teach me to forget myself
as melted snow forgets its life.
Earth, teach me to remember kindness
as dry fields weep with rain.
-----adapted from a Ute Prayer

Obviously I am not at the ocean or at the Field. I am home, embracing the self care of someone who came down with the ear/sinus/throat/craptastic no energy, aching thing. Oh well. I had fun going up to Sultan yesterday to collect a new to me suit from my very generous sister-in-law, playing ball with Squishy in snow-mist draped mountain-bordered meadows, visiting a genuine Feed and Seed and being welcomed by the store cat, Lily, buying this spring's abundance of organic compost and being given a poultry calendar of my very own, walking in downtown Sultan while Mary was at her doctor's appointment, and enjoying the visiting in the car on the circuitous route home before traffic got really bad.

Then it was Sistahs' night...with one boy. He will not remember these times. And they are precious to us. Watched a movie called "The Jerk". It was funny. And it made me long for those kinds of dresses that Bernadette Peters was wearing...and that I used to wear. Wouldn't go back though. One sister has written more songs and shared with us. Brought us home to Heart. Together. We received an email from a brother who I think would like to be a Sistah--we shared that, too. Good vegan food. Good tea. Good talk. Honest talk. It is emeshed. Life-giving. Life-sustaining. I chose well before I got here this time round.

Had a long walk with Cedar. Have spent the day reading and napping. Off to do more of that again. Guess it is what is needed.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Met Melat today. At her mom and dad's home. There is something mighty special about hanging around with a three-year old. And this 3 year old is from Ethiopia. She likes my dog. He likes her, too.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Today is not about my steps. It is about His.
....which brings it all back to yours and mine....
Thank You, Lord.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Workin' the Steps...again.....
Really, I'm just reading them over and picking out things that stand out or need rereading from "Women Who Do Too Much, Love Too Much, Need Too Much, ...you get the drift.

Step One-Busyness/Adrenaline/Rushing/Distractiblity------"....we have become addicted to our own adrenaline rush. ...we functioned best under pressure.....we got nervous and tense when our lives got too quiet.....we needed our emotional arousal, our fix......we began to see that our rushes were exhausting our bodies, our beings......we have the hope of a new life and the possibility of living it in a new body."---Anne Wilson Schaef

Step Two (and these are in no order): Greater Power---"thank goodness we have the option for leaving both our innocent gullibility and our cynical sophistication....we can let ourselves believe that all things are possible--not controllable--possible."--A.W.S.

Art of Mediation: "I am in the place between sun and moon, where the lightning-flash strikes."__Ross Nichols

"The purpose of Spirit is not known to us, but we do sometimes have the FEELING of being at the place where lightning strikes, the sense that we are called to conduct a feeling, a meaning, a purpose that is greater than ourselves, greater than our understanding."--Caitlin Matthews

"...perhaps that numbness was...contentment"--A.W.S.

"I'm just trying to make sense of what's going on...some kind of sense..."--EMR....."And it ain't working....and that's just how it is.....and I'm full of my Self .....because it seems to be working now that I go back and read my own post...and so it is.......with Blessing and Healing..and Contentment....

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Have you seen the mountains this morning?!!????
Purple-headed mountains singing the glory of Creation.
There is no way I can ever thank My Lord in any way for what He DID for me, for us. And then we get these beautiful mornings, new, just as they are. And most with coffee.

I'm pretty cynical these days with a side of apathy. Then I get out walking. And loosen my muzzle. And let the mind-crap just fall away star-magnolia blossom after star-magnolia blossom, sweet smelling planting compost after compost, Sheltie grin after sheltie-grin, shadows on mountains after shadows on mountains, white-laden sky-reaching plum blossoms after blossoms, step after step with strong healthy legs in warm clothes or lack thereof, breath by breath--each step a prayer. "Why?" becomes "What Now?"becomes "Oh" becomes"Wow" becomes "Home".

No blueprints of any kind. No security. None. Almost wrote "Non" and that would work, too. Earthquakes in Italy. More folks rediagnosed with cancer (not me). A family member of Fletcher's taking a sweet step for a move into a sweeter future and falling while moving a heavy piece of furniture, hitting his head, and not waking up. ever. These have happened in the past 24 hours. And I step out with dog and leash and coffee and mind and start the "Why?" and What now? and....

And then Spirit steps in with Tenebrae. The nourishment. The healing. The sharing. The settling into shadow and love and communion. The music. The voices. The heartsong.

And then Spirit steps in with a parking lot conversation with a 7th grade teacher that I respect greatly. greatly. She noted that she sure got a lot of compliments about what was happening in Ms. Raney's 2nd grade on the Celebration of Learning night. Filters were off. Couldn't help myself. I said "What?!?"She said she had many parents who also have younger siblings in our secondgradeland and others who stopped by down in our part of the schoolworld first and then headed down to middleschool-land. I thanked her. I was hoping for some kind of feedback about how things are going for the families and the learners. I don't trust my own feedback these days unless it is data-driven and I have the summative results in front of my face. These past few months have been full of unrest. Ok then.

So I checked through my Gratitude Journal this early, early morning and added some more. There are some definite patterns--star magolia blossoms, warm on my back and face, dog(s) and angel-dogs, Breath, words, walks, simple/classical music, camping with Mary J., recovery in spirit and body, sleep, moon, and coffee.

I'm glad my short commute to work involves two sets of mountain families and one Sistah-Mountain!

Monday, April 06, 2009

The reversal of what was thought to be absolute. The turning of midnight into dawn, hatred into love, dying into living anew.

If we look more closely into life, we will find that resurrection is more than hope, it is our experience. The return to life from death is something we understand at our innermost depths, something we feel on the surface of our tender skin. We have come back to life, not only when we start to shake off a shroud of sorrow that has bound us, but when we begin to believe in all that is still, endlessly possible.

We give thanks for all those times we have arisen from the depths or simply taken a tiny step toward something new. May we be empowered by extraordinary second chances. And as we enter the world anew, let us turn the tides of despair into endless waves of hope. ---Molly Fumia, "A Grateful Heart"

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Mowing-good. Tiring-yes. Still recalibrating from this past year. Maybe will be doing this the rest of this life. Can't seem to carry things the way I used to.
Celebration of Learning over. Past week over. Yes.
Report cards-in progress. Little bit to do.
Tortellini makes the world a better place.
Cedar is enjoying his life. Field trips rock.

A spring in his step.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Flailing here. Flailing monstrously.
Unhooked. Not tied to one of those bobbing things that the sealions like to hang out on.
Don't know where the boat should go. Needs to go. Don't even know where it wants to go.
I know this is part of the "new normal". So what.

Scattered. Dissatisfied. Crabby.
So I start back at the basics with what I know. Which changes every couple of seconds.

1. I know I like coffee. And I have some.
2. I know how to walk my dog. And I did and do.
3. I can take on one paperwork project here at home-one a day-and do it. Done. One. Alrighty then.
4. I like to do dishes. Looking out the window. Standing on a stool so I can see dem birds.
5. I like quiet music.
6. Fruit cocktail rocks.
7. I don't like the emotion-waves that are back. Like being on a ferry boat and it starts to rocks sideways or front to back and you are in the middle of a really good book or playing harp in the car or camper and then all you want to do is ralph. An unpleasant surprise.
8. There is something contained, controlled, predictable, achievable in the teaching of dance to beginners. I can do it. With pleasure. With Sara. With patience. With sincerity. With love. I feel like myself when I am doing this this week. Not anywhere else.
9. Complaining does not make me feel better. It just makes me feel lighter. It solves nothing. It is an energy waster and an energy polluter unless it is turned into prayer and Given.
10. Showers help. If you have the energy to get in there. And turn it on.
11. I need a haircut. All over.
12. 42.