Blessed Samhain.

Seek the spirit;
don't set your heart on bones.---Rumi

"People will only see what they are prepared to see"....Ralph Waldo Emerson

So true. So very true.
Just pulled an apple/pear crisp out of the oven. Made hearty vegetable rice soup earlier. Did the dishes. Fed us. Worked on report cards. Painted a bookshelf. Moved another one into the house to get the books out of the basement and out where they belong or on to new homes. Took a door down to the Restore and got a credit for future shopping (yay--new to us light fixture in the nearer future), loaded firewood and kindling, and managed two very long naps, a couple of almost hours on the treadmill walks with the pup, another walk with pup over in Magnolia to the water overlook, a game of Scrabble and finished "Voyage of the Dawn Treader". Had help for much of the schlepping and such. Managed Puppy Kindergarten, too. We are on to Puppy Junior-High as soon as I balance my checkbook. Listened to some critter (probably rat, digging into the basement and banging around boards and the like in the wee hours. Will fish out the traps tomorrow. Not going to play this game again. No rat motel. Not welcome are you or your friends. Am enjoying doing the choreography for Pride and Prejudice at HNA. One more teaching session should do it. Thanks to the Magical Moments diva for the opportunity. I have loved every minute of this. Forgot about how much I love chorepgraphy and working with older students. Because of this, I am checking on some stuff. I did a student teaching rotation in highschool back in the day and it is good for something....this might be the ticket to something. The more I step out of my way, the better things look and are...it's all happened with a shift in how I ask the questions----been reading this great book called "Living Your Best Life". No more information about the problems..the shift happens when the wisdom-access question places the light on the solution. Ex;What do I need to move through this? What have I learned from this to take me to the next step? How do I feel about the next step? Things like this....and it is happening. Had an encounter on Friday afternoon with someone from last year who has taken a mighty, mighty disliking to me and it was jarring...until less than 3 minutes later, a child from this year's class ran up to me in the car line with a gourmet French chocolate with a thank you ribbon and said "Here, my mom said to give you this...and she says THANK YOU." (Just an ordinary Friday!)...and that said, when I had asked myself what I neede to move through that tense, tough moment before, I had thought "tea, chocolate, or a margarita)...Lookee what I got! I am on to bigger stuff with this power now. We shall see.

So this is what happens when I get out of my way and leave space...
* I got a choreography job which I am loving. Creative, historic, expressive, here and now. It also exactly brought in what I needed for my savings goal for this month...to the penny. I had asked for work that I loved to do, on a schedule that would not drain me or interfere with Porter's care, my work for Tara, or my energy. Check.
*The bumper will be taken care of on my car as soon as I make the appointment. And there is humor around this little accident. And next time I will trust and act on the gut-hunch whisper that said If you park here today, your car will be hit even though you have been waiting 12 years for this particular spot to open up anyway...and sure enough, my car was hit by one of the nicest people I know.
*I needed a new pair of boots. Cute ones. Porter has taken a couple of bites out of my menopause lavendar ones and they are leaking. So at work, on an aside, a colleague yells down the hall--Do ya need a pair of boots? Green ones? Green frog ones? Size 7 WIDE. Exactly my size, cute yes, oh my goodness. They stink 'cause they're new. Some time in the compost will fix that.
*Got another big bill from Cancer Care Alliance. Made a plan to call to ask about a pay-over time program. I am good for it, I'm just not going to refinance the house again. The kind woman at the other end said,"Oh, our computer made a mistake. A MISTAKE. It spit out the patient obligations before they were verified and confirmed. Right now, technically, you owe nothing. This could change, but right now, today, your balance is 0!! (and then she explained the pay-over-time program and it will work for me and not penalize me for doing it in bits.)
*And there are more...I could get used to this.

On another note-my dog bit Auntie Lydia on the head today and jumped up on her table to take her dinner (while she was in the process of eating it). This story definitely will be continued. Yes, I still have a dog. He still gets to go on the field trip tomorrow. Whether or not he gets to get out of the truck is another matter entirely.

"We wake up, pale, and creased, hair flat.
The world has lost its color temporarily.
Our minds race with muddy thoughts of those lost...
Surrender is the message. We don't easily hear this.
We try to escape through denial, overdoing, or not asking for help.
We keep trying not to surrender......finally I just got quiet and listened."--SARK, Transformation Soup


I believe I am quiet, almost truly quiet and listening for the first time in my life.

God made it. God loves it. Therefore, God keeps it.--Julian of Norwich

chirp

It's getting cold out there.
Glad we laid in so much firewood.
The stars and the morning moon have been so tranquil. I so like hanging around them.

Found the living room floor.
Found the kitchen counters.
Found half of the kitchen table.
Found the stove and made soup (vegetable rice)
Found the floor of the sage room.
Found some more floor and shelf space in the garage.
Found some basement floor space.
Found some more bookshelf space.
Found both beds and will readorn them with clean linens.
Washed all dancing tights and other things.
Washed other things.
Goodwill is gonna win and so am I.
Feels good to love on this home and lighten it up. And my mood.

The Family Stone is an endearing movie.
I like to cook for my dog, too.
We had fun at Zen Puppy Kindergarten this morning. (Some people are bringing their dogs 4 and 5 times a week--you can do that at this place. I think they are crazy or I am just lazy or old-fashioned. Or maybe everyone is just doing what works best for their own pack. That's probably it. No guilt trips. No out of balance doing too much for the wrong reasons here.)

The Wild Goose has departed Iona to come live here at Fair Isle for awhile. I have temporarily postponed my plans to empty this house, buy an RV and run away. May still do it but for different reasons.

I always do some of my best thinking on the treadmill with my puppy.
Until he farts.

And then I don't think. I laugh. And gag. And think different thoughts. I like how that works. Another of my new metaphors.

And it cracks me up how I always wake up sad, morose, or a combination of said.
And how things always look and feel better after caffeine, Curves, a walk, throwing some more things out, and time in a quiet place with hot water and indoor plumbing. And trying to find where that dog stole my shoes to. He is on a pretty tight leash at the moment--the little shit.

I do believe that finishing has its merits and how one finishes is important. But not right now. Now is about the Now.
And as I make the shift from the drudge and work of Doing to the Ease and Grace of Being, the right teachers, thoughts, and farts will come my way to help me when and where I need it most.

And that other unique problem that is keeping me righteously distracted. The birds won't stay the HELL out of my house!
First the raccoons, then rats, and mice, and wasps, then pigeons...now nuthatches or junkos. St. Francis I ain't.
Down the chimney pipe they come. Yesterday were number nine and ten. At 4'00 in the morning --explosion of feathers and frenzy and pupinator. And all I wanted was light and warmth and cozy and Kenny G. Christmas while I woke my old self up. And I didn't even know #10 wasn't out of the house until I came home from work and my clean dishes in the rack were no longer clean and all the candles were tipped over on the counter and the clock wasn't making bird sounds (it does on the hour and half) but there were bird sounds in the kitchen. Have a message into Sutter Home and Hearth. Will check with Home Depot today.
I feel pretty lucky.

Just saw something on fb that is making me think.
A short video of a minister talking to some kids--he has no arms and no legs. And he is talking to them about what you do when you fall down. And how you try to get back up, 100 times, more, and how you fail and keep trying. Then he said..what matters is how you finish. HOW YOU FINISH. HOW YOU FINISH.

Is that what matters? He asks "Do you finish strong?" What happens in the end?
Maybe this is the question to consider. And then he gets back up...with no arms and no legs but he does it.
That is all.

You've heard of bats in the belfry...what about birds in the woodstove??
They keep falling down the chimney pipe and into the stove. Then at o'dark thirty when I want warmth and light, I get this explosion of feather, frenzy, and pupinator. Not my style of calm, quiet, soothing easy morning routine. Must get up there this weekend and put something on it. Rather, I will get someone to do it. I don't do high places. Never had this problem before until the last year or two. We are now at (I think) ten bird count.

Been loving the moon light in the mornings. Been putting myself and the pup on the treadmill a couple of times a day. Been trying to stay here and now for the rest of it. Been hard. Still is. But I'm here.

Her pleasure in the walk must arise from the exercise and the day, from the view of the last smiles of the year upon the tawny leaves and withered hedges, and from repeating to herself some few of the thousand poetical descriptions extant of autumn, that season of peculiar and inexhaustible influence on the mind of taste and tenderness.
----Jane Austen

Sleep.
It's a good thing.