Mississippi Moments

Friday, August 31, 2007

"The Journey" by Naome
The journey,
the pathway,
The road is filled with blocks and rubble...
The accumulated mind of many lifetimes.
We must clear the path
To walk again
Through clear,
uncluttered dimensions.
Leave the pretensions and the masks
to fade away.
Shine the light in the darkness
So you can see the way.
Remove the weights
of your burdened heart
And know the part you play.
Walk, walk life's highest way.

I like this poem. Kinda says it all for me right now.
Except I am having fun clearing the rubble and learning to fix broken faucets. The classroom is completely different energetically because so much stuff and layers of energetic compost have been removed. The space, the feel is open. Ready. Waiting. Expectant...ooh, I like that word. That says a lot about my frame of mind, heart, and reference of the moment. Wish I had more time to do more of the rubble-wresting here at Fair Isle, but that's for later. Time to go to the classroom. Today is "Holding Day"--I will hold the children, our learning goals, potential paths and practices, tools and manuals, my energies and our families all in My Hands and Lift Them to Our Loving Source and Say"It's Yours. But then You Knew That." Love us, please. Show us, please. Dance with us, O Shaker and Maker of the Universe"...and I grin inside and seem to hear Your Voice Belly Laugh into my Ear-Heart and say," I never stopped, you Beautiful Creation...now, turn this way. I want to spin you over to this side to show you THESE wonders!"
And that is what will happen...and then I'm taking Squishy to Point No Point. For some camping.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

(Use your "best"Cork fake accent here)
It's Torzzday. Khan ya buleev et?
(Back to regular voice in head)
Still working. Having trouble thinking.
Listening alot to Matt's song, "Awaiting" ..... and sitting some in thebackyard with Squishy in the dark, Blue Heron ale with lime in a small cup in hand, watching the moon rise and trying to find my Breath.
I find it alright. And when I do, it's time for more sleeping and then we wake up and it's time for work again.
'tis going. Can't saymuch more than that. Still living with the absolute Joy and Connectedness from last Friday's Family Mass and the weekend's gatherings. There are NO words.
Maybe one or three--Heaven. Here. Now.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Tuesday eve, almost bedtime.
Enjoyed learning and working today.
Tired now.
Can't get the hyperlink lesson Coli taught me earlier. Will try again later.
Sweet dreams.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Sunday morning, early, Squishy and I are up. Coffee in hand, looking at the comics on-line like I always do before commencing with the morning's unfoldings. I hear paw-claw thrashings and gratings INSIDE the stove pipe to the woodstove. First thought-oh, no that stupid squirrel after the hazel nuts got himself or herself in a pinch. Second thought: WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?! Third thought: Maybe if I ignore it, it won't really be real and I can just come up with another little vignette about how silly Squishy is. 4th thought: Nope, it's not going away and everytime Cedar barks, the thrashing and clawing gets lower and lower. 5th thought:Call LIttle Feather and WIll. They deal with the wilderness coming in all the time, either by the cats or by chance. L.F.-"Get box or bag. Catch it. Take it outside." Will-"Yup." EMR-"Uh, okay."
So, I put Squishy in his crate and let thrashing drop to the woodstove. Opened the lid---it was a baby bird!! Opened the doors and coaxed the bird outdoors. Took a few tries because as bird is trying to get outdoors, tblack cat with the golden eyes that has adopted us here at Fair Isle is coming up the stairs and INTO the house! Such fun early on a SUnday! There must be a song in there somewhere.:) T All's well that ended well.
The gathering in honor of Mom and Dad was unbelievable and beautiful. All hands and hearts and help humor in sync and cooperation. Mom and Dad were beheld and honored and affirmed. So good to see all friends and family from my/our present past. One thing that impacted me was seeing my Auntie Arlene, the youngest and last surviving sister of my grandma Surridge. As I took her hand, she made eye contact and said softly over and over, "Erin, Erin, Erin, Erin." Talk about and Iona Power Moment---touching one of my elders and looking into her eyes was like standing on a bridge between worlds in ordinary reality. Those of you with shamanic experience will understand the sensation. Even though, in a respectful way, I must say, she does resemble Voldemort in the last Harry Potter movie. I want that kind of power and presence. But in a good, longevity kind of way. With my own hair.

Working in the classroom going well but slowly. As I knew it would. Fine. Just bumping along.;.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

A soft grey day. A quiet day.
Last evening's family liturgy was so special. Everyone (almost all) there, together, praying, loving, celebrating, honoring.
Matt and Mark and Kieren (on drum) leading us in music that moved our hearts and feet.
Father Basso, such a funny, deep, powerful, loving man-priest. So much respect for my parents and vice versa.
Joey, Ashley Grace and Emily reading from their hearts...Jacob, Rowan and Kellen bringing up the gifts, including the rosary that Mom carried on her wedding day. Mary J being Eucharistic minister and Colleen singing, filling the chapel with her voice and love and it carried us away as if on angel's wings. We were momentarily stunned. The time together was such a gift.
And then it was off to the pub fo rdinner and family time. It seemed to have been the correct fit for our family. Enough room, plenty of tables, tablecloths for drawing on, couches, soft lighting, we could make allthe noise we wanted to...and the Mariners' game on at the end, close enough for a few to watch and enjoy in between conversations. All in all, a special night.

..And as I was reading in this beautiful book, The Circle of Life: Heart's Journey Through the Seasons, I came across part of a prayer by Macrina Wiederkehr that I want to put in today's entry---it just spoke to my heart.
" as the day grows I, too, grow, lighthearted, attentive, free, patient, grateful, wise.
Healed of indifference, I fall in love once more.
There is something about embracing the day
with the intimacy of a lover
that makes one well again.
Only one thing is necessary,
a heart with a single eye.
My desire for spiritual healing must be fierce. I must decide to breathe myself alive in any kind of weather.
The tools are given and I decide."---from "Getting Up on a Summer Morning"

So, it's high-ho, high- ho off to work..with this song in my Heart--(From last night) Yes, Lord, Yes, Lord, Yes, Yes, Lord,
Yes, Lord, Yes, Lord, Yes, Yes, Lord, Yes, Lord, Yes, Lord, Yes, Yes, Lord, AMEN!

Friday, August 24, 2007

What a beautiful day!
Dr. #2 said she isn't sure about said lumpage and wants me to see a general surgeon to rule it out. She said the shape doesn't resemble a lipoma and sits too high on my chest for that... Okay, after school is underway.
Time for Life and Celebrating now.

Lord make me an instrument of Your Peace, where there is hatred let me sow love, where there is injury, pardon, where there is DOUBT, faith, where there is despair, hope, where there is darkness, LIGHT....you know this....

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Back from Doctor #1-She believes that el lumpo is a lipoma (sp?). I know a few dogs that have/had them.
People get them, too. 99% just fat unless they grow really fast. So there ya have it. Another lovely little sign that I am a woman of a certain age...and of course, grace and wisdom.
It's been a full day. Even though it's only 7pmish, it's time for sleep.
Tomorrow is another day...and a special one at that.
Hazel sticks, grazing elk, twittering, buzzing kingfishers, and a very happy Sheltie bounding about in an overgrown garden.
The kittens and Mama weren't real happy about Squishy being there and he doesn't behave very well yet around them, but we are working on it. Had a lovely time with Will and L.F. and grounded again in the quiet, in the center. Just as I was complaining about wanting to run away comes the equally powerful and delightful revelation that I feel at Home in a lot of special places, not the least of which is the Field and Gray's Harbor County. Me and Squishy.
We're just back from our trip to Gray's Harbor and the North River Valley with a load of walking sticks from Little Feather's hazel grove. I forget how wonderful it can be to be in a place where the only sounds are the stars twinkling and the water droplets dripping off of young alders. There might be an occasional shuffle or twistle in the dry canary grass from a vole, mouse, or other varmint. Mist covered the valley this morning and we enjoyed quality time with good coffee, sharings, and prayer before coming back to Ballard. Time for a quick shower and then it's back to work and up to HNA to meet with the chapel coordinator. Then doctor's appointment.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

In the "mud'...up to my chin.
Can breathe okay. Working hard. cleaning, purging stuff, scrubbing, moving, envisioning, trying space out. The focus is good. The rest is not. I don't know what's wrong because I can't peg what's not 'right". The only thing that is helping with this on-the-edge-of-spinning-off-the-planet feeling is lightening my material load. And I don't mean my eating habits. All I want (or at least think I want) is to let enough things go so it looks like an Erin version of the Ikea catalogue in here or so that it will all fit perfectly in the rv and not move around when we get the heck out of dodge. I feel like running, running away but I don't know where to and I don't know why.I just do.
And it's not because I am grieving or craving relationships. As far as I can tell.
It's also time to move beyond just with what's up with "me"--time to grow out and deep. Where's that ONE wing I'm supposed to have when I have arrived and I'm all self-actualized and stuff? I feel like Some One should stick a label on me that says "Been There, Done That" Inspected by I AM and She Passes Muster. "-dang,
Squishy is fine. Tired. Doggie daycare is good for him but it will be going away for a long while now. He gets to have quality time with himself. In his crate if he chooses to eat holes in my walls. And we will take more long walks. Need one badly. Have it on the calendar before we go get walking sticks for 1st grade woodworking tomorrow.
I know it's probably nothing but I am concerned about this latest/newest lump on my chest.
I see the doctors on Thurs. and Friday. I crack myself up when I look down the aging road for myself and I imagine that my chest will look like the pillow from my childhood that I literally had for 24 years and after it had been washed a few times, all the stuffing was chunked and molded into the corners and into lumps andbumps, but it was comfortable, it was sort of soft, it smelled right, and it was MINE! Funny what we remember.
All the plans for the celebration for this weekend are coming together. Everyone is working so hard and cooperatively. A little scary actually. But it makes me proud. Now I have to go find some fake bugs for my bulletin board at school. And I will chuckle again to myself at my father who has trouble hearing "fake bugs" but knows exactly what "artificial entymological samples" are! He even recommended the stores to find them!!! It doesn't get any better than that! And after I find the bugs, I am going to pack my suitcase to run away...with Squishy. Probably out to the backyard to sleep in the rv. Maybe it will rain.........
Another soft day, mostly mist really. The green beings must really love this. My carrot seedlings are just peeking through.
Another day of scrubbing, moving, tossing, and thinking ahead. The classroom space feels very different. That will change here shortly. And that's a good thing.

Monday, August 20, 2007

The rains are falling softly upon our fields...and on the old rv that isn't covered by the tarp. Maybe I'll climb up there after work today.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Mary J. just called. She is on her 5th day out. She is eating steak and she has made friends with a chipmunk. That likes to lick her shoe. Good on ya', Mary Lass.

Of labyrinths and rosemary...
...been working in the garden again and I really only went out to plant lavendar and 3 hours later...............
I have an unusual, but rather endearing habit of building labyrinths in sacred spaces where I go by myself to pray, listen, reflect, be... since walking the ones at Chartres and at Earth Sanctuary on Whidbey, I perceive a power and symbolism of intention and community in the labyrinth. There are many types from all over the world and from many cultures. I know how to make a simple one. For me, it represents believing in the Journey that is Life here and now. It represents Knowing that at the Heart, the Source is and Holds You in Wombed Love. All of You. It also represents all the entrapments, distractions, enticements, obstructions that come into the Path. I created one at Haven in the pouring rain with the dogs. A big one. Of firewood and large stones to put my "mark" on the land that I knew wasn't going to be "mine". I was so angry. hurt. alone. despairing. confused. lost. I walked it. Maybe more than once. I don't remember. I do remember that Fiona just sat higher up on the hill contentedly watching and Sadie bounded over the boundaries and lined paths to get to me and follow me around wherever I was going, whatever I was doing in the hopes that I would go inside to a warm fire and tea and treats. It was not a happy time. And the labyrinth building there and walking of it were a deep comfort.
When I was ready to believe and begin to dream again, I built one here at Fair Isle. Out of special stones from my journeys to special and sacred places-the Burren, the Yukon, the Satsop, the Quinault, the Ocean, the Field, Haven, San Diego, Alabama, Texas, Mississippi, Virginia, Colorado, Normandie and Bretagne, Ballard. Into this labyrinth went Breath, Prayer, Intention, Life, and Space. It was lined with oyster shells. (A nice, symbolic touch and they just throw them away at Chinooks anyway.)
It has been niggling at me since I returned from Iona. Time to take it apart. Which I did today. And as I did it, I was struck that I indeed have been given and have embraced with a succulent, powerful "A-HO!" , my Heart's Desires on this latest Journey to the Center. That I have been Held in Wombed Love. That, indeed, that my Dreams are True, Real, Alive, and Here. Just looking at Squishy in the window slobbering on the sill brought it all home. The limpet shells from the labyrinth area on Iona. The treasured days and evenings with Families of Origin and Choice. Peregrin in the backyard ready for more adventures. The classroom wherein I will work and laugh, learn and grow with the little ones and cultivate an abundant living for my Home and little ones, some more hairy than others. The box of textbooks and other materials for my first doctoral class, "Foundations of Doctoral Study". I'm going for it--at least to try it out to see if it's what I want. Six months ago, it was agitating inside me like an unbalanced old drier with a full load of laundry. And I came face to face with Erin Spruce, one of Neil's sons and one of the coolest people on the planet at the moment-with joy I might add. It surprised me. And it was okay.
And that I have so much that I am still getting rid of it. And that there is fresh fruit and berries for the making of pies and sauce. Which brings me to the rosemary part...
The rosemary spreads, its pungent and beautiful branches gesturing in curves and coils to spread and embrace all the space possible. The underlying, older branches support the new growth and also reach into the Earth to root and begin new families, all connected to the mother plant. Giving it a trim didn't seem to hurt it and actually opened the energy around it. Gave the sage a space to dance and move when the next windy day arrives. The trim also gave me a chance to uproot some weeds and old grass underneath the rosemary. There weren't too many, just a few. Made some sense to me. Something beautiful, pungent, and useful is growing in My Life. And some of it needs to be pruned and composted.
I wonder where the next labyrinth will sprout up...and why.

The fire's goin'. (I'm burning old "important" papers from one of my crates in the basement. Still haven't quite met my weekly FisherLady goal of emptying out two crates or boxes per week-but it's still technically the same week so by the end of today, it's highly likely.) FisherLady= some writer/blogger Mary J. found who has daily tips on how to create a rhythmic, ordered and simply abundant life, home, and head. She gives tips and then Mary shares them with me. They make a lot of sense when you try them out.Have a cup of good organic fair-trade coffee. Threw in a batch of laundry. Squishy is alarming at the new-to-us armchair that Val found for us at a yard sale. It may just have to go to school with me, I really like the colors and how it supports the back of my head when I am sitting in it. I went to the classroom yesterday to work and work did begin! I love and resist how time flies there when I get my head down and the juices flowing. There is much to be done. Made an important discovery yesterday---I will need to remove 12 desks from the classroom! 12! Do you know how much learning floor space that opens up for us?!? I had to call Jean and share this. There are 20 students in our first grade this year-20!! There are two first grade classes there. This is ideal in so many ways.
So another thing I'm pondering on is how Life isn't all about Me. Wish I could turn this word inside out. So, yeah, it' s me in my Head and Heart cogitating, bellowing, masticating, regurgitating, yearning, guffawing, and snuffling--but what it boils down to is how to make and grow relationships. Maybe I am finally growing up enough to "get" what Jesus meant when he said Love God and Love your neighbor as yourself. I thought of this while doing dishes this morning and watching the families of nuthatches and chickadees enjoying the morning. And I thought of the family celebrations coming up for my mom and dad and all of us. And I thought of how enjoyable it was to spend time with the McLeans last night and how the dogs got along much better. Squishy gets along pretty much with everybody. THeir sweet Molly is a shy, energetic dog who hasn't had much exposure to Squishy boys on her own turf. She relaxed and was able to sort of play with him. Well, she outruns him like a mac truck outruns a 3 year old on a trike but he still thinks he's playing, and I enjoy watching his tongue hang lower and lower out off the side of his mouth and his happy expression when he stops and looks up at me on the deck. And how he falls asleep in the car after. It's a good thing. And so it seems this morning has been and is a good think. With God's Help and Breath, I am growing a family here. It is real. As real as the birds in the forsythia outside and as real as the stinking dog toys that need to be thrown in the wash..albeit after the towels and bedding are finished. So I'll finish with some words from Joyce Rupp------
"So much in me (us) has yet
to accept
the waters of discomfort
and discontent
that come without a beckoning,
urging me (us) insistently to open up
and grow.
So much in me (us) has yet
to be nurtured, broken open,
and set free.---from "Teardrops of Growth"

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Introduced Squishy to a mastiff yesterday...
and a Yorkie and an 8 month old baby. It was alot of fun.
(Note to Self-I like you. Let's do it more often.)
And so was the long drive up Beaver Valley Road on the Peninsula to Port Hadlock and the pearly, rolling quality of the soundwaters on the morning ferry ride.
Taking time just for an "adventure" with my dog and me.
To visit friends.
Gave me more time to think...which can be added to that list of summer abundances--when you get into that settled, comfortable place, with a good, hot cup of coffee, just the right music (Soundings of the Planet:Tapestry of the Soul), a resigned, sort of settled in puppy, and a long familiar drive with several rest stops next to beach and evergreens, life doesn't get a whole lot better than that. Even if you have had no sleep, it can still be just perfect. And the brain activity amps up. The trouble is that I haven't yet accessed a way to record these thoughts as they come while I am driving (Squishy doesn't take dictation) ----so I figure that if they are meant to be remembered, then that will happen or something will trigger them later in context or with purpose.
I like to watch the people, kids, families, lovers, solo beachgoers next to the ferry dock. Anywhere actually except in the Ballard Market parking lot because people will run you over accidentally if you stop to gawk. I like to wonder about their stories. I wonder what number they are on the enneagram and if it even matters. I wonder if they like to get sand in their shoes or if that is something that just irritates the heck out of them but is the price they pay for a summer's morning at the beach. I wonder if they are aware that someone is noticing them. (NOT stalking just noticing-there is a BIG difference) I wonder how this special time at the beach will impact their day and their interactions with others. It has already impacted mine. It reminds me of the necessity to spend time in places that are fun, that fill the moment with glee and a pocket full of freeedom. It hooks me back to summer days spent at Golden Gardens with my family of origin and the playing and picnicking. And then getting all of the sand out of your shoes before you got in the car. (note to self-my kid will not run around at Golden Gardens barefoot. I have seen what they find and clean up off of that beach on too many morning walks now...I wonder if it was like that when I was a kid. I was so out of it, I can't remember.)
In the Sarah ban Abundance book, she shares during this month the values of Creativity and Authenticity. She also reminds her readers that remembering and reconnecting with memories of summer abundance and savoring opportunities for reflection, right along with creating some of your own summer abundances in the succulent Now, can go a LONG way to flavoring the days to come, the thinking to come, and the living to come. Sounds like a story that I would want to spy on.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Some things are as perfectly simple as forgiveness and pie.
Yes, I said pie. Pear and apple pie to be specific.
And quiet talks with friends over sumertime drinks about hikes, walks, works, dunks, and tricks and twists.
Then we gather and stew, stir, simmer, pare, puree, and pile. And then the cooking..mmmmmm.
I've learned a few things in the past week.
I still have it in me to be fierce and dramatic over the people and things I love. That are "MINE".
And that it sometimes comes out in ways that are jerkish and not at all what I was really feeling or trying to say.
And that reconciliation and forgiveness are possible and while this may be no big deal to others, it is to me. It's part of how I am learning and being authentically in this reality and walking the walk of Love and Not Being A Selfish Jerk In the World.( It is also cracking me up how I always seem to "be learning and growing in this reality." And who ISN'T*****snark!?!) I thank my parents for another chance to practice this. And it was very abundantly grounding and nurturing to bake and then share. And to watch my dog (who watches tv when given the chance) to bark, snarl, and act like an idiot when some show was on at mom and dad's with kids singing and dancing. Cedar went balistic. And then I showed him the tv and he only balisticked a bit. He is learning a lot, too.
This has been a bit of a tough transition from running around with my head, heart, and feet in castles, cottonfields, glens and gin barns (and whisky distilleries) to home.
Which brings me back to pie and forgiveness and things that matter.
Seeing my dear Mary J. embark on her dream of camping, fishing, and peeing in her own rig without needing tupperware.
Dancing with my sisters and niece and nephew once a week. Then setting and sharing afterward.
Appreciating Sara's commitment and energy as she offers, teaches, exhorts, models, and sweats her gifts for us and with us.
Time with Turi. and Jean and Laura and Mike. And bookgroup.
Time with Jenny and her beloveds.
Time with Jenny's father who created a beautiful memorial for Fiona and Sadie of mountain slate and cedar. Going to get it and enjoying the rich connecting time with him and his new cabin home.
Time on ferry boats.

This inspired a delicious quote the other day from none other than Mary J. "Fours don't go on vacations. They have adventures!" (I'll explain this another time.) The second quote of the day "Ferries are therapy." (Needs no explaining)

More on my list of simple summer adundances-
Praying with my therapist. Being affirmed that I am not crazy-just that I feel things, often more than a few at a time and that it gets confusing because I feel so deeply.
Affirming that feelings are indicators and not the only reality. That checking in with the top three will usually give one an accurate enough picture of what is really going on. (You'd think I would have this down by now after ten years of regular therapy and the work that goes with it.)
That therapy still takes it out of me as I go in. There is something satsifying about being in that deep, quiet place where flicker calls and sighing, snuggled puppies take center stage and sirens and screaming brakes are relegated to the alley behind the theater of the consciousness.
That I can intuitively bake a pie without being aware of anything except the order of things, how it feels"right" as it is being put together, and I am aware of the love and gratitude that is energetically joining what the Source has already placed in the fruit and labor of the endeavor. And I can do this as well as some people can paint, sing, play harp, dance, or write grants.

And I don't understand how certain people in Iraq can be blowing up their OWN. To whom do these blower-uppers belong? Why do they need to cause such shattering and pain? WHY? WHY?
In goes the Magical Strings, esp. Lullabye for a Soul's Journey to the music player. Out comes the Circle of LIfe: The Heart's Journey Through the Seasons by Joyce Rupp and Macrina Wiederkrehr from the prayer library. Plugged in is my Heart and my Prayers for Peace and Healing. Pictured are my father's bright, enthusastic eyes as he plans and delights in model railroad potentialities---and quiet breathing with the garden, the trees, the flickers, and the Creator. Now that's power. And an entirely different kind of pie.
Or is it?

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Fire Circle, with harps and dulcimers, whistles and drums, poetry, panpipes, stories in the ancient Welsh tongue, and a Virigina doo-wap section topped off with vegan brownies and enthusiastic dancers--Life doesn't get any better than this.
6 hours of ferry wait and ride made it all the more special.
Glad I made the effort with Little Man.

Spent today still in a quiet, inward space--not much energy, not wanting to put energy out there with people. Last night was perfect and then it was time to come home and rest.
We napped.
I read.
We planted autumn carrots and prepared the ground for pole beans.
We lopped off the branches of some errant bamboo and began to clear and prepare some ground for echinacea.
The pears are falling. Open invitation to anyone who wants fresh pears. The ladder is in the garage. Help yourself or come over and we will gather together with a glass of wine and good poireraderie.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

My head is about to explode. Thanks, Maude, for the use of your thumbdrive/flashdrive/memorystick. Who makes up these words anyway??? "Wiki, metadata, scroll, blog, aaauuuggghhhhh-I am heading for the football and Lucy is holding it.
No downloaded pictures came from HNA-don't know why. Probably gave her the wrong email address inadvertently. tried to scan here at home but don't know yet how to use my own technology...Too much to ask anyway. for now. my learning curve is steep but will only hold so much at a time. doin' great or thought I was and was excited about how this technology will impact the products and learning for my next grad school adventure...but then I get overwhelmed...until I've had sleep. whatever. Created a new powerpoint and hope to have time to import all the photos tomorrow. sigh. exploding head. there are so many things I don't get. won't get. gagain-whatever. i hope the party is what mom and dad want. i am no help whatsoever except for giving names of pubs. whatever.
"The three teachers who impart wisdom:
suffering, thought, and a truthful heart."___Welsh triad translated by Caitlin Matthews

Abby's kitty, Carmella, was hit by a car and inspite of care and love, died last night.
Please keep Carmella, Abigail, and her family in your prayers and thoughts of support, please.

If you haven't checked out www.nyccolleenblogspot.com yet, please do so. My sister is participating in an awesome summer theater endeavor and it gives one a taste of delight, focus, passion, and a chewy morsel of chutzbah. And since I am in the middle of an intense but well worth it technology class, I should be able to supply a hyperlink to this blog for Coli's blog sometime soon.

Dancing is going well this week. I will be doing some choreography for a family of five boys, all of whom play instruments and they will be performing at the Puyallyup Fair this year as an ensemble, playing their own music and dancing, too. Thank you, Kathleen, for the opportunity to meet some new, engaging folks.

Have a fruit fly problem here. Need to bury compost.
Do not have a puppy making holes in the wall problem because he goes to daycare every day while I am at class and then he comes home and flops on the floor asleep until around 8 pm. It will be good when Auntie Lydia is off of vacation and he can go be a nut with his friend Dave and Queen Alice. He does have a sweet friend at the other daycare named Chloe-you never can tell about those border collies.

LIttle Feather is here for a few days. We have been enjoying walks, good foods, and quiet coffee circle in the early morning. She is completing some more training for hospice and her other interests. Her kittens and Mama Kitty are well at the Field and so is WIll. The garden and orchard are thriving. We are planning a women's bonfire/burial/connecting and sharing experience this September around Michaelmas. Just want to put that bug in anyone's ears who might want to plan on creating a ritual experience of giving to Mother Earth and the Universe and "things" that no longer serve you in the present in positive, Life-giving ways. More on this as the weeks unfold. I will be participating for sure.:)

One more thought---"I watch the star to guide me home, I found my soul and spirit's rest, I travelled far across the foam, there is no ending to my quest."---Caitlin Matthews, Celtic Book of the Dead

Monday, August 06, 2007

"Hold onto what is good
Even if it is a handful of earth
Hold onto what you believe
Even if it is a tree that stands by itself
Hold onto what you must do
Even if it is a long what way from here
Hold onto life
Even if it is easier to let go
Hold onto my hand
Even if I have gone away from you."----Pueblo Blessing

First day of technology class at HNA with colleagues and friends to be met.
Felt good to be back up there as a student.
It's fun harrassing Loolie in the bidness office.

Had a great fun time playing and camping at the Lake.
All is and becomes well in that place with those right smells, sounds, family, rhythms. Big rubber yellow boat-big hit with the kid crowd. Forgot about the power of Binaca where goofy puppy is concerned but I am prepared for next time. Lovely dog training goddess has already reinformed me about what needs to happen to make Squishy into the good dog citizen that he is on his way to becoming. The dog socialization piece is strongly in place. Now it's time for the people one when he is around me . Auntie Lydia doesn't see what I was seeing this weekend. Good fun to have Jenny out and her darlings with the nieces and nephews and cousins and sibs and parents. Life is good and so is summer! Too bad about the Beacon Plumbing hydro....had such hopes. Mauvaise chance....Book group was engaging, challenging, absolutely lovely and so right...I alwasy think of more that I wanted to put out for the group or respond to what someone said on the way home and the days after. I tis a bit frustrating....I love how all our minds and psyches and hearts are working and responding to the words and to one another.....naps are still on my radar. garden work-too. dance. long walks. working on school stuff and planning. Getting ready for mom and dad's 50th celebration,... the pears are almost ready to pick and create with. Yummmmmmmmm.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

It all starts when you clear out the dead heron from your freezer....
and then anything and everything is game!
Those of you who are teachers will understand the significance of this--today I jettisoned ALL of my teacher lesson plan books from the past 22 years! Yes, all of them. Did na save even one page...and yes, I had a bit o' craic lewkin' aw thum.
In fact, the recycling bins are FULL. The yardwaste bins are FULL. The wee garbage is FULL. There is recycling and yardwaste a-waiting for the next week. There is a significant addition of wood and scraps to the bonfire pile. Had fun sawing the old-fashioned way. The bamboo necessary for rhythm sticks for the coming school year is cut and drying. I took a risk and relanguaged my brainage for one small organizational task---finding a way to store all of the winter blankets and down comforters in a way that doesn't have me shoving everything back into the cupboard with a mash and a bang (although at times that can be therapeutic). Instead of saying-"I can't do this. I have no talent. I need one of my sisters or friends to give me the idea how it would be done best..blah.blah.blah....I poured myself a cool mug of OJ and and I channeled my inner Coli and tried this," How would I place these items so that they are out of sight, easily accessible, and won't get dirty in the storing of them?" Et VOILA! Found a way and in the doing of this, jettisoned at least half of my old videos to the Goodwill pile and put the rest in a better storage spot as well. You never know when you might actually need Buns of Steel. I, too, can live m(begin the practice of living) without clutter in my own home and not just when I go to Jonestown, the Highlands, or camp in the RV (backyard or not)!:)
I also buried the remainder of Fiona's ashes under the laceleaf maple with Cedar in attendance. It is one of our favorite, cool spots in the summer. It was time. She isn't in the urn anyway. Sometimes, it is a huge blessing beiing "special"--this is one of them. I know where she is and I know where I am going and the twain shall meet.
I cleared off the "altar" shelf where I keep special pictures, rocks, and things. It's open and ready for...?The other special things will remain in a basket for awhile until I am ready to steward those things.
The bread is baking. The wine is open. The fire is ready outside for when the first stars begin to wink and dance in the sky. The feasting has been in progress for some time though. Cedar was given a special homecooked Lughnasaidh feast with something called Rock Island Raw. Made the house smell good when I cooked it up. I also cooked up a big pot of summer pasta marinara with gorgonzola for the rest of the week. Made the house smell doubly good.
Read some more from Helen Keller and started a new book that I've been saving for some time, Me and Marley. A dog book. Written by dog people.
The Festival of LIght, LIfe, and First Harvest continues......here's to ya!
"I had my first lessons in the beneficence of nature. I learned how the sun
and the rain make to grow out of the ground
every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food,
how birds build their nests and live and thrive
from land to land,
how the squirrel,the deer, the lion and every other creature
finds food and shelter.
As my knowledge of things grew I felt more and more the delight of the world I was in.
Long before I learned to do a sum in arithmetic or describe the shape of the earth,
Miss Sullivan had taught me to find beauty in the fragrant woods,
in every blade of grass, and in the curves and dimples of baby sister's hands.
She linked my earliest thoughts with nature, and made me feel that birds and flowers and I
were happy peers."--------Helen Keller

Glad to be reading her story right now. It's Lughnasaidh, Dear Ones. First Harvest. What's ready to be brought in and tasted in your Life, your Garden, your Heart, and your Dreams?
Seems like Squishy and I are happily weeding and clearing around what is already happily growing and abundant around
here. In the house, in the garden, in the garage, in the mind, in the basement, in the drawers, in the baskets, buckets, tubs, and corners...I want a wand that works when I say "DISAPPEARO"! Not-at-all-a-bad-harvest----amazing what can happen when you finally realize that, yes indeed, you did plan, prepare, plant, nurture, and God did the rest and it's right in front of your eyes. Go get it if you still want it. Oh, whoops-you already did! WAHOO! And yes, I does. And yes, I did. And the taste is sweet. and perfect. and right. and makes me grin with delight and gratitude and somewhat of an inner squeal. It is so freeing to HAVE IT ALL and to not want anything else, any differently, anywhere else. And here's t'other thing-there's alot of POWER in the being grateful for what has come to pass. I wonder if this is what all the therapy was insinuating--that when you "get it" --you in fact, get "IT". There is no energy being wasted on the past or future or other. I wonder if this will stick. I wonder if I get to choose. Actually, I know the answer to that one. I do. I will, probably, most of the time and there will be times I don't. I am a 4 and an Erin after all. I do know I need to cultivate more play in my life--picnics, walks in the woods, swimming, fort building, tree climbing, that sort of thing. Squishy is learning to climb trees. Airedales do after all when hunting satan-spawn (squirrels). I have seen what happens to poor cedar trees who harbor said evil. Sort of like the backyard version of Cromwell going after catholic priests being hidden by Jacobite gentry....sorry....That was in bad taste. but I thought it was funny and it is Lunasaidh and I'm celebrating, so it stays.
And I'm pondering on my parents and they're choosing to be together for 50 years this lifetime round. And how amazing and grounded that is. And the celebration of this. And how I hardly know them and can't envision my life without them. And how their lives together have impacted so many and brought so much good to this reality this time. And how I am excited to be able to help them celebrate and honor their pact and their path.
Bright Lughnasaidh Harvest!!!!!!