Mississippi Moments

Monday, May 31, 2010

Getting ready for another long walk in the rain.
And firing up the woodstove once again. How cozy is that?
Been looking around craigslist for the fun of it this morning--what a bunch of wackos.
Interesting wackos. I sure don't like the energy around some of the "forums"--folks cannot spell. They don't write respectfully. Don't even try to find a complete sentence. And helpful or creative tips...hah! Much better to keep with what I have already learned and use the library and personal connections for ideas...especially these days when I have 0 brain cells to put to anything other than what I already know how to do.And fill more boxes of stuff to give away while making soup. And bread.

Taking more stuff to Goodwill. Want to know if anyone has a copy of DVD HP and Half-Blood Prince I could borrow? If not, I will put myself on the wait list for the library. Something to look forward to:)

Off to walk, steward stuff, and think. Lots of that this weekend.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Arroser les bonnes graines toujours et toujours---Veronique Lamontagne
(Water the good seeds--day by day)

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

My home garden is a wreck. Not so big of a wreck but too much for me to handle right now. Puppy is back to being hand fed, tied to me, or in crate or down stay. We are back. This guy is not trained, not respectful, and doesn't even respond t his name or the fact that I am his Person. This will change. Thought this guy might be easier than the last three. Who was I kidding? I just have to learn to do it the smart way and not bang my head against any walls. I have learned that with the two-leggeds this year. Simpler, better, smarter.

Have some other things to put in order on the next job or piece of work front. We shall see. Grace happens.

I am making plans to go to the land of Georgia O'Keeffe. Space, spice, Spirit.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

"To live every moment in the presence of the Holy Spirit is is not something abstract. It can be done when you drink your juice or your tea. Drink in such a way that the Holy Spirit is present in you. When you eat some muesli, some rice, or some tofu, eat it in such a way that the Holy Spirit is present in you. When you walk you should allow the Holy Spirit to be walking in you.....walk in such a way that you will be be nourished with every step you make. Every meal would be a new meal where you can nourish yourself with the energy of the Holy Spirit, the energy of mindfulness."---Thich Nhat Hanh

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Still 42.

And I like walking in the rain...period...

And I am a sucker for poppies and garden gargoyles.

And it intrigues me how freeing it is not to take things personally. I am learning that lesson and (in my best Yorkshire accent--Ah lahk itt uh LOTT!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Creation Chant by R. Carlos Nakai--says it all without words.
And 20.
And walking in the rain. With my Dog.

Monday, May 17, 2010

I have enjoyed myself immensely playing with my dog for the last three hours outside, listening to and watching the birds, spying the sliver of moon and feeling the warmth of the evening sun on my back.

Whatever. I'm moving on.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

"If you wish to drown, do not torture yourself with shallow water."--Bulgarian proverb

I feel (spoken in the words of a True 4)...as if Someone has handed me MY ABUNDANT LIFE on a shiny brownie platter(please see the dancers of a particular 4 hand reel who wanted to win the brownie platter at the feis--it has particular meaning)laden with Spirit and strawberries and Dreams and brownies and Love and coffee and Joy and mashed potatoes with butter and Community and tortellini and Compost and spinach from the garden and Bonfires and Healthy Pup running around with elderberry blossoms stuck on his butt while he is trying to look all macho and protective in front of those damn baiting squirrels in our backyard.

Last night, I had the honor and pleasure of attending a birthday soiree for a 90 year young dear, dear man. I currently teach in the same school as one of his darling daughters.I call her friend. I have had the pleasure of being schoolteacher and dance teacher for two of his granddaughters. And catechetical support for them as well through three of their sacraments. He is a former detective with the New York Police Dept. and a Navy intelligence officer and honorable veteran of WWII. He also blessed me, the class, and countless children with his presence as a classroom volunteer for the years I taught at the same school that I attended as a child with all my sibs. Twice a week, in came Mr. M and I would prepare his cup of Irish tea and he would listen to the children read, help them with their prayers, hold their hands, hug as needed, scold and guide certain recess ragamuffins (in his old school New York accent and piercing Irish eyes), and watch me. At one point, years ago, he told me that it was too bad that there was a 58 year difference in our ages--he would marry me if I let him:). When I was there last night, the first person to say hello was someone I did not know. She said,"OH! You're THE Ms. Raney." I said I was and waited. I hear this a lot. She said, "I am the third." I waited some more. "The third in the position since you left. You started the tradition in second grade. When I was hired, I was shown the classroom and where to find the curriculum materials, and told about Mr. M and that he came with the job." I raise my cup of tea, facing west(our ancestors) and to the east (Brooklyn, NY), in honor of Mr. M. The Bible tells us there are angels among us. There are Irish saints, too.

Friday, May 14, 2010

For the meaning of the Universe and all other questions, the answer is 42.
That is all.

Monday, May 10, 2010

27 Days.
But who's counting?

Friday, May 07, 2010

Darth Vader gives driving directions! Whoduhthunkit?
Just saw it on facebook.
Going to spend the day being with our Frannie who is recovering from surgery. And she is one drugged up Irish redhead. We will see how that goes. My turn to give back some of what was so lovingly given to me. I love how the Universe gives us hands-on, hearts-on opportunities for this type of thing.
I have been asked several times now directly if I will stay at my job.Please. What could they do to get me to stay.
I have said no each time. Politely. Firmly. With a smile.
I am looking into going back to school next year. My niece in Missouri is inspiring the heck out of me and so is Miz Coli in North Carolina with the lightning bugs. I am talkin' to the folks right now.
I watched a poignant movie from netflix last night called "Devil's Arithmetic" about the Holocaust. I ordered it after seeing "Life is Beautiful". Ready for something less dark but thankful for having seen it. Don't have too much in me for reading other than poetry and gardening books at the moment. Working hard at school and kind of tired at night. Finally sleeping. I like the sleeping stuff.
Still thinking about how cool it would be to have Darth Vader or Han Solo telling me to turn left....or recalculate. I believe I would use it even drive to the dance studio!:)

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Didn't mean to but I ended up getting the fire started this morning anyway. Cup of tea. Looking at this happy wreck of a cottage. I've already had one shower outside cutting wisps of the akebia over the back gate. As I don't really like being woken up with a puppy nose shoved up mine (and I'm not really complaining), I also don't really like getting my head tangled in the akebia vineage (sp?) that lives over the gate every time I go to unload my car or bring out the recycling. I had some run ins with the elderberry near the corner of the house and the hops that grows over the front trellis. If it hits my head when I am moving about, then it has to have a haircut. This morning's cold shower was a fun, little wake-up but as soon as ithe fire gets into its groove, I will have a hotter version (without the bugs).I used to love the once in awhile occasions when my mother would start a fire in the mornings--sometimes even on a cold summer morning---and I (probably other kids, too, but I can't remember) would curl up there in bathrobe, with tea and watch her add milk cartons or other paper recycling. Sometimes we would talk. She wouldn't be there for long, but it was cozy and warm and lit, and even this morning, makes me think of her with a smile on my Heart. Then there was usually some baby banging a spoon on the metal tray in the kitchen and the next moment held something different...which brings me to my primary chewable thought for today.
Last week I was on about perspective. Really everything is about perspective. It's the only thing that defines truth (with a lowercase t)...case in point, just come to any recess where the kindergartenboys are playing any game at all with a ball and teams...and what ensues is always a scrum about "perspective"..they think it is about rules but it ain't. I got got in the muck of it earlier this week trying to be Ms. Fair On The Playground Matroness--kid came up, crying that another kid wouldn't let him pitch and they were playing their version of kickball.It was Monday. I had energy (sor of). We went off to solve this. I even had to confiscate the ball to get them to talk. So we take a long time to do this (about 45 seconds) and thought we had a solution ready to go--taking turns--how clever is that?!?!--and the no sharing perp is still looking at me like I am some wicked monster. I looked at him and said "WHAT?!" HE says--Teacher--that kid isn't even on my team. He's on the team that's kicking right now.--I stopped. I looked at the other kids. I asked him if this was true. He said it was. I'm dumbfounded. I feel stupid. I turned to the other kid and said "You're not even on his team? Then why are you making a fuss about his pitching when its your team's turn to be up?" He couldn't tell me. He had wanted to pitch. Period. I gave the ball back to the other kid, apologized for interrupting the game, and scuttled back to my perch nearer to the tennis players....aauughh--perspective.

Digesting some news that one of the couples I had counted in my forever cupboard is going through a shift. Change. Here it is again. No, this morning isn't about change. It isn't about hope or getting your hands dirty or aphids in your hair either. It's about my reaction to the change. I'm still inside. Not numb. Just still. I feel some soft sadness. There may be grief over this later. I love all involved. I am observing that what is living in me now gives me some (and some of the time) wisdom and an automatic shift to step back and away. Not run away. Just step back. And look again. And see. Perspective. And change. I'm able to do it at school. And believe me, I am.
I am doing it around this house and garden. Somethings have shifted here. It's not that I don't care. I don't care in the same way. And I am still committed to cleaning up my messes and eliminating drama from my sphere, I have so much less to clean (even though it looks like a tornado around here) and the drama can go hang out by the kickball game and play in the spot behind the sorry little cyprus shrubs when it doesn't get to pitch.

Monday, May 03, 2010

"What you gaze on, gazes back. What you contemplate in faithfulness, changes you into itself.
Turning and turning you'll come around to being like earth in which
much can grow."--Gunilla Norris, Mystic Garden

There is something cozy about getting up in the 4 o'clock hour already awake. Coffee on. Stretching out in the dark and rain with the dog. Doing dishes by candlelight and whatever shuffle music the ipod wants to put out--this morning it has been Robin Eye, Jack Johnson, Shania Twain, Stan Rodgers, Ottmar Leibert, and Michael Tomlinson. Somehow it all works. I will pay for the getting up this early already awake because it means I did not sleep but rather dozed throughout our long Beltanne soir.

Yesterday was a remarkable day. We were up at o'dark to go walk around the lake and attend a pancake breakfast. Another nap (still can't shake the aches and no energy thing), and it was up to Seattle U. St. Ignatius chapel. Have never been there before. It was for a special liturgy because one of the confimandi was getting baptized and was receiving Holy Eucharist for the first time. Then it was rehearsal for next week's confirmation liturgy. I am sponsoring a friend and dancer. It was the full in the pool deal with pitchers of water and the full anointing with oil dripping scene. It was profound to see those sacred signs of new Life in Christ in that way. Considering some of the places I have been recently and to come home and experience grassroots faith in action was good for my soul. good for my heart. good for this mind. Because I am not holding the Church in too much good spot lately. I loved being part of liturgy at the chapel there. I also had the huge pleasure of meeting Monica Perry from the Murray School in Portland whose little sister is best friend with my niece, Rowan. And then her sponsor came in late and it was a dear, not so old friend from Seattle U and the dance school who turned out to be Monica's aunt! Plus I got to see wedding photos of another former dancer's wedding that we were unable to attend this year. It was a special time. On a Sunday.
Then it was home to cozy fire, looking at all the work undone around here and off to bed again.

Nothing is fair. Sounds extreme and the bottom line is there isn't one and every moment is dripping lovingly with Grace and Gratitude.....And that is why it matters that you get clear on what you need, want, and listen, listen, listen to what Spirit wants for you. Sometimes it is just to get quiet, draw near, and snuggle in, and watch the crane's bill geraniums grow in smoky little patches along side a path, or notice the heron moving across the sky at high-tree level as you are heading out on a field trip, or doing dishes by candlelight, or reveling in clean sheets and a cup of tea. Or turning the soil in a raised bed with your pup before work on a weekday. Lots of ways to be open. This beautiful morning is singing soprano with color, clarity, new life, and windsong. If you want to clear your heart, your mind, your head, your sinuses, your energy---head outside today.....the work will be done for you!